Undisclosed Desires
by anaVhernandez
Summary: ; Follows BD. Is imprinting stronger? Or is true love? BLACKWATER. Title inspired by a MUSE song. Jacob/Leah. R
1. In the Moonlight

**Disclaimer:** No, sadly I didn't come up with the Twilight Saga. Props to Stephanie && her crew(:

AN: This story takes place 3 1/2 years after the events of Breaking Dawn. In my world, Leah is five months younger than Jacob and Sam is five years older. Reneesme will reach her full age 7 years after Breaking Dawn. Hmm ... interesting. The story will continuously switch P.O.V. (Points of View).

Enjoy :D

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**Leah's POV;**

A pair of new bloodsuckers had been on the loose causing havoc around LaPush. They sure gave us a run for our money. They were fast, and I knew what fast was. I hadn't slept in 96 hours yet I was determined to catch those little leeches, seeing as I was the only capable one.

I caught one of them and Paul caught the other. Yes, he got lucky.

But now here I am, home at last. Seth is out patrolling or something with the pack. I don't really know but I'm sure they're happy I'm getting some rest. You guessed it, that thought was in a sarcastic tone.

My mom wasn't home either; last I hear she had taken Charlie to the Cullen's house.

It was all peace and quiet.

I lied down on my small bed, barley fitting my whole body. I was lay consciously for only a couple of seconds until my eyes started to feel heavy. I decided that I wouldn't fight it and let myself drift.

Black.

I heard tires screeching. I felt myself twitch but I didn't wake up. I saw a car falling off some sort of cliff or hill. The image kept re-playing, then i saw it from a view as if i was under in the ditch. The bottom of the car was the most visible thing to me. I heard screaming coming from inside the car, it seemed to be getting louder. Then i realized that it was me screaming. I awoke, like they do in those movies when people sort of shoot up like pop-tarts. Except I wasn't sweating, just panting.  
It was a weird and awkward dream to have.

I got up to fill myself a glass of water, then I tried to go back to sleep. I was successful and that time I had no dream, it was just darkness and a whole lot of nothing. It seemed like I was only out for minutes which probably meant that hours had gone by.

**Jacob's POV;**

As alpha I felt responsible for all of my pack, even out of tribe affairs.

I made my way to the Clearwater house. I knocked but no one answered and the door was unlocked so I walked in. I headed towards Leah's room and when I saw the door opened I peered inside. She was lying across her bed, she looked so peaceful and vulnerable. To think, we hated each other's guts and now she was the Beta of my pack. How things change, I had grown close to her and she to me. I hated to have to bring these horrible news to her. But better me than she find out from someone else.

She was strong, no doubt, but you can only be so strong. Just in case, I was here to be sure that she would be ok and to let her know I was here for her. The features on her faces were accentuated by the expressionless motion that swept across her face and even though she was a wolf, she seemed so graceful yet strong and agile at the same time.

I sat on the corner of her bed. I folded Seth's noted and put it in my back pocket. I have to just do this. I thought to myself. I shook her shoulder lightly but she didn't even budge. So I shook her slightly harder and this time she just cuddled up next to me.

"Leah wake up, I have some news for you."

She rubbed her eyes and slowly opened them while she stretched.

"Jacob?" She started to ask when a yawn beat her to it.

She pulled me next to her and we lay next to each other. "Let's go to sleep Jake." She said already half asleep. I took a stray strand of hair that covered her face and tucked it behind her ear exposing the smooth complexion of her skin. "Come on Leah, really. I have to, no you have to know this. It's important." She slowly opened her eyes, I sat up in hopes of showing her the importance of the issue.

"What kind of news?"

I had to be blunt about this. But at the same time I had to lay it as delicately as I could.

"Bad. Really bad Leah."

**Leah's POV; **

_Bad_? I thought to myself in wonder. I sat up this time and Jacob came to sit closer to me.

"What is it?" I asked anxiously. Had I really knocked out that long? Hmm, maybe. It was very early morning and now it was twilight. I felt his warm hand touch mine. Who would have thought? A couple years ago we couldn't even be spitting distance away from each other and now, here we are. Holding hands.

"Tell me please." I might have sounded like I was begging, I couldn't even tell.

He took a breath. "Leah, you're mom. She was in a-uh car accident.. she's unconscious and it doesn't look to bright for her."  
_What?_ The words shot like daggers throughout my chest, puncturing every side and angle of my body.  
I heard the tires screeching like in my dream and suddenly my eyes felt swarmed with water. My vision became blurry. "I heard it Jake." I said with a pained expression, I couldn't even get the words out. I felt him squeeze my hand.

"What? What did you hear?"

"My mother, the car. I dreamt it." My eyes which were locked on the bed, now looked into his. The image, the sound, the screaming, it all played in my head repeatedly and i felt myself twitch. He hugged me, I didn't notice right away until his voice sounded so close.

"Tell me, what did you dream?"

I snapped out of my gaze a little as I heard the sobbing from my chest.  
"Jake, I saw it. I dreamt it. The car crash. It, it was all in my head. And I had no idea my mom was dying at the moment. I was, so, so, so, IGNORANT! How could I not have known- "

He cut me off and released his embrace on my hands, he then preceded t cup my face in his hands.

"Leah, listen. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this."  
Cliché.

"How is she? Be brutally honest."

He broke eye contact with me and looked around the room pointlessly or so it seemed to me. Then he gently kissed my forehead.

"She's ... bad. She's unconscious at the moment, in a sort of Intensive Care Unit state." Breathing  
soon seemed to be more and more difficult. I started hyperventilating.

"Leah! Leah, she's in good hands! Don't worry. Carlisle is taking care of her personally at his home."  
Oh no, my mother was surrounded by those little leeches, but if he could save her, then i loved that leech. But that wasn't the most troubling of my assumptions.

"No, no Jake. What if she dies? I mean, it'd all be my fault. I should have done something, helped her.." I started babbling. Talking, just pure non-sense I guess, I wanted to say so much at one time that my mouth couldn't nearly keep up with my brain. He started shaking my shoulders until I actually noticed he was doing so and finally looked at him.

"Jacob. My mother is all that me and Seth have. My father is- dead. That was my fault too."

"Hey, hey hey, look at me. One, it's not your fault. Two, don't even think you're alone, don't think so for one second. I'm always going to be here, and Seth will be too." Seth? My poor little brother, how was he coping? He was even closer to mom than me.

"Seth? Where is he? How is he?" I jumped off the bed and in the next second Jacob caught me by the arm and nodded side to side in disapproval as he looked down.

"What?" I asked impatiently. He reached into his back pocket and handed me a folded piece of paper that looked worn like it had been folded and refolded again time after time wearing away at the  
edges.

_Jacob,_

_I trust that my sister will be in good hands with you and the rest of the pack. Please take good care of her, I trust you especially as the leader of us, and I know you two have grown close. As for my mother, please no thoughts of her when you're a wolf. I don't know what I would do if I were to find out second hand that something happened to her. I've run towards the north and I'm fine, that is all i can tell you. Please make sure Leah understands that and ask her not to worry, I just need some time to meditate and think and stuff. She couldn't catch me, even with her speed I have a days head start on her. Oh yeah and tell her that I love her._

_Thanks Jake, see you soon.  
Seth. _

"What?" I questioned.

Jacob looked puzzled at my indirect question.

"How did you let him run off like that?"

"I don't know." He seemed honest, but then again how would I know?

"I went to inform the pack, in my human form. I couldn't just morph into a wolf in a hospital waiting room. And then when I had returned Carlisle gave me the note and just said it was from Seth. He had respected our privacy enough not to open it. I promise Leah, I had no idea."

I decided not to debate the thought in my head and go with the gut instinct in my stomach. Besides, I had other things to worry about, like the fact my brother was where the Gods know where.

"No, no, no. I can catch him. I'm fast." I just jumped out of the window quickly and turned into my wolf form. Seconds later I heard another shredding of clothes.

_Leah, don't._

_I have to Jacob. I just have to. _

_Please?_

_My little brother is out there. What if something happens to him? Huh? I don't want to carry that on my shoulders, not that too._

I turned around and then I heard Jacobs scream rumble in my head.

_LEAH!_ The first syllable of my name was coated in the Alpha tone he rarely used, but then it died out.

_Jake I'm so sorry, I just-_  
I didn't want to finish so I just sprinted out into the abyss of the forest.

I ran faster and faster until I reached my top speed.

_Seth, I know you can hear me. Come back._

_Leah, I told you not to come looking after me._

_Seth! Tell me where you are this instant! _

Silence. _Seth!_

Nothing, no thoughts from Seth or the rest of the pack, if they were listening they were being wise to keep quiet. He probably came out of his wolf form, but I kept running. I didn't care.  
Quil and Embry's voice in unison taunted me.  
Leah, come on. It's no fun when you're not here to fight with us! Please!

I forgot their pleading and realized there was no use. I pondered around the forest for a while, I was lost. Darkness was creeping up and as much as I tried to remember my way back I couldn't, so much was running through my mind. I think they all got tired of it because it was quiet for about 30 minutes.

But then .. _Lost?_ It was Jacob's voice.

_Don't move I'm coming for you. Yeah, I followed you. Well I tried._

After a couple of minutes I phased into my human form. And how great was it that only part of my clothes had survived. Just the undergarments, hooray. Everything else was torn but I suppose that I should be thankful that I at least had that.

The great thing about my human form was that it made it so much easier for me to cry, here in the middle of nowhere, in silence.

I slowly laid on the grass, it was mildly humid but it served as some sort of comfort since it had long not been cut or tampered with. I felt warm water fall from my eyes and down my cheeks. There was an uncontrollable sob that seemed to be coming from me. My chest wasn't still due to the heavy breathing I constricted out of my lungs. The memories of my dream, my mother's deteriorating health, the uncertainty if she would be ok, and all the memories rushed into my mind like a sweeping wave. Then the most clear and painful memory returned. It was my fault my father was dead. This was all my fault I realized, I started sounding like a snobby whiny kid but I didn't care. I pounded on the floor. _Why?_ In the silence, my words flooded the perimeter: Why did I cause such pain to people? Those whom I loved especially. Couldn't I just make someone happy, impact their life? Matter to someone, love someone and have them love me?

I yelled that last line into the air, into nothing and cried even harder. All unwillingly. The redundant silence answered my question as a 'no'.

Then suddenly through the trees I heard a rumbling. Jacob walked through some leaves and branches in his human form. Bare chested and noticeably handsome. Wow, I couldn't believe the erratic thoughts in my head but in some certain depth of myself I knew it was kinda sorta true.

I tried to get up but my body was non-respondent, so I just laid there still feeling the tears roll down my face.

**Jacob's POV;**

There she lay, crying. I had heard her screaming those utterly repulsive understated thoughts. Her sobbing, her repeated questions if she could matter to someone, it was non-sense! She mattered to me and as far as I was concerned I was someone. I don't think she fully understood the extent of my feelings for her and even perhaps— neither did I.

The moonlight hit her almost perfectly, it reflected on the streaks of water left behind from her tears, and her absolutely gorgeous face. It defined the shape of her legs, abdomen and chest, her beautifully sculpted feminine figure.

At the moment of all these assumptions I realized that for the first time I was actually really looking at a girl. I mean I really noticed a girl since Bella. But the most surprising thing to me was that it was Leah whom I noticed. Oddly enough I was kind of ok with that.

I walked over to her limp body. It seemed as if she had stopped crying.

"Where are we?" She managed to ask, not without obvious effort.

"About 48 miles from the reservation, come one let's get going. We gotta get you home."

She didn't seem to cooperate.

"I don't wanna go home." She acted like a kid, worse than Embry. I wasn't that good at dealing with this. I felt helpless, so I did only what seemed to be rational at the moment. I slowly wiped her tears.

"I can't Jake, I can't face it." I lay down next to her and embraced her with care, she looked so fragile. The heat from our bodies united into one fire we were both willing to withstand. She intertwined her legs with mine and hugged me tighter, I held her at the waist.

"Thanks.. for... caring."

"There's no need to be thankful. You know I care for my pack in every way possible."

"Yeah .." She thought for a second then violently set my hands free from the embrace in which I held her in. She distanced herself from me.

"I bet if I wasn't part of your little pack you wouldn't care at all. You see this as a burden just because I AM part of your pack." What? What in the hell was she talking about.  
"Hey! Remember you and your brother were the ones urging me to call this a pack and you insisted on joining!"

"So you're admitting it! You know I wish I were dead! Then I could stop being such a hassle to everyone! Including you. "

This woman! It was impossible to argue!

She sat up and was ready to get up when I stopped her.

"Cards on the table, Leah. Seriously why are you doing this? I thought you had changed, that the depression, it was gone. But I guess I was wrong." I thought for a second, repeated the phrase in my head. Ok, it sounded a bit harsh.

"What?" She started with an alarmingly non-furious tone.

"My mother is on the verge of death, my father is already dead. And, my cousin, my best friend is getting married to my e boyfriend whom I loved with all my heart. Oh yeah and my brother is gone..I thought you would understand."

Well, it did make sense.. but still. I was confused myself, maybe I got mad at her because... because I hated her being so depressed.

"Look I'm sorry Leah, it's just I hate seeing you like this. It's not your fault." She started crying again.

She looked down to the floor but I tilted her chin up to face me.

" .. and hey, you do matter. Pack or no pack. You really matter to me.."

".. but how can I be so sure? What guarantee do I have that you're not lying to me."

I knew how to prove it to her. How to answer her question.

**Leah's POV;**

He kissed me.

I didn't know why, I was overcome with an odd sensation. A sensation of submission and ... enjoyment. The kiss was unexpected. it was intense, and ... it was passionate.

The thoughts of us being here and doing this and the presence of Reneesme in the future made me hesitant.

I pulled back a little, just enough to separate our lips but keep our foreheads together.

"Jake.."

Then out of the bush there came another rumbling.

It was Sam.

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AN: I apologize for typos certain to be here, I have no beta reader and my spelling is that of a 3rd grader. But yeah, please message with ANY questions, I will answer. Comment(: My motivation :D

Next Chapter UP SOON !


	2. Hope

Disclaimer: I only own the idea on which this is leading to(: Not the saga or characters.

AN: Ok, so THANK YOU to those who reviewed, the fact you showed interest inspired me to post up this next chapter. I hope you like it(: I really am in love with this story I'm creating, please show me your support too! :D

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_Leah's POV;_

_He kissed me._

_I don't know why but weirdly, I liked it. It was intense and passionate._

_The thoughts of us being here and doing this and Reneesme in the future made me hesitant._

_I pulled back a little, enough to separate our lips but keep our foreheads together._

_"Jake.."_

_Then out of the bush came another rumbling._

_It was Sam._

**Leah's POV;**

We reacted quickly as a natural instinct, playing it off as if nothing had happened. How could we of not have heard him? I suppose our "defenses" weren't too attuned at the moment. But now we were all here, faced with an awkward situation.

Sam took a couple of steps forward.

His eyes shifted from me to Jacob and from Jacob to me, "Did I interrupt something?"

"No, no, no, not at all." For trying to play this one off Jacob wasn't being very good at it.

Sam's timing was all off; it would have been adequate if he would have walked in a couple of minutes later, maybe even seconds. But the unfortunate event of Sam's arrival at this point wasn't the only thing swirling in my mind.

_How was he here? I mean, how did he know where I was. Probably Quil or Embry told him. I'd get them soon enough._

"Jacob… can I talk to her. Alone, please."

A h_umph_ escaped my lips.

"Anything you need to tell me, you can say in front of Jacob." I looked at Sam as he threw a cold look towards Jacob.

With a wide grin, he responded, "No, its fine". He was always trying to lighten the mood, what a ray of rainbow light. "I need to go hunt anyways, I'm pretty hungry." He continued to baffle things as he made his way out of the clearing into the deep lush of green.

"What do you want?" I said in a monotone with a clear hint of annoyance.

"Please Leah ..." He took one step forward, I took one back.

He sighed.

He looked abnormally vulnerable to me, to the extent where I realized that I'd almost forgotten he could even look like this. The only thing I ever saw in him was authority and … sympathy. I hadn't seen this side of him in a very long time.

"We have to talk. Leah, don't make me beg."

"About what?" I said in a high sadistic voice.

"Everything!" He instantly replied with the same pitch.

He took a deep breath trying to calm himself, then attempted to take another step towards me. This time, I didn't move, not even when I felt a faint touch on my arm, "Can we please just talk, just allow me a minute."

I didn't really know what to say to him, because if I would have said what I really wanted to, I was afraid of seeming… fragile. I only found it in me to stare into his eyes. I wasn't sure what happened next. I saw him move to sit on a nearby log and before I knew it I was sitting right next to him, so closely that I felt the heat of his body.

"Look I know that there are some obvious negative tensions, I can feel them-"

"I'm over it Sam." I interrupted his statement knowing where he was headed, even if it was partially true. "I'm … happy for you and for Emily."

"Really?" He asked with a reaction on his face that indicated his shock.

"Yeah." I answered with reassurance.

"Time to be honest." He said as if giving me a chance to change my current answer. I kicked a rock that was on the floor as I collected my thoughts.

"Look Sam …" I started and turned a little to the left so that the shadows could hide the expression I knew would soon sweep my face.

"It hurt. It hurt so much. But that was back then. It completely broke my heart—it tore me apart." I stood up, making sure to face away from him as I continued. "It was like, like, I couldn't put the pieces of my heart back together. Like it was a puzzle and when I finally thought that I figured it out, it fell apart. Words, they don't even … they don't adequately describe how much I hurt. How much I tried to … hide … my pain and seem indifferent."

I turned to face him revealing the warm tears that ran down my cheeks. He stood up and tried to interrupt me but I raised my voice to continue. "But that's the past, I'm over the fact you and Emily are engaged. And you know what? I fu**ing hate you Sam. I have for a long time. But, for a long time, I've loved you just as much and I've only wanted the best for you, even if what's best for you doesn't involve me. That love was so much greater and it still is. It's that, that _love _just isn't the kind of love it initially was."

I was in awe of myself, for completely opening up my wounds to find some way to permanently seal them up once and for all. But what surprised me the most was the relief that I felt after I poured my heart out and broke my gold rule of doing precisely what I was at the moment. No action comes without consequence, I felt the pain of my wounds shoot in my chest, it felt like someone was taking away my air. I couldn't believe Sam was seeing me like this. Don't get me wrong, I didn't intend on having a total melt down in front of _him, _I had to retain at least a smidge of poise.

Inevitably, the worst happened. My knees gave out, I sank to the floor in an instant, and in that instant I also felt his arms cradle me. I searched his face for an expression of any sort. I found his eyes to gleam, as if by the production of tears. He looked muffles, like he wanted to say something but the words didn't quite come out. In the midst of the water that seemed to obstruct both of our eyes I felt the warm touch of his lips kiss my forehead. _A witty move._ Even for him.

He took my face in his hands and looked directly into my eyes. Some notion in me, knew that whatever he was going to tell me, was going to home from his heart.

"Leah listen to me, I have _never, ever_ stopped loving you. Not for one second. You are such an important part of my life: past and present. I can't just discard you, or any thought of you… Trust me, I tried. I tried to move on and not beat myself up about it but in the end I couldn't. To his day I can't bare to know that I'm the causation of all the pain you feel. All I need to know is that you're going to be ok." He waited in silence for the answer I never spoke. "… Lee-Lee?" _Lee-Lee, even wittier. _It had been long since that word came out of his very own lips.

"Does Emily know you're here?"

"Yeah, she knows that I've been looking for you. She was just as worried. She loves you too, you know? She finds it disturbingly unfortunate that things are the way they are."

Already knowing the answer, "You really love her huh?"

"Deeply. Not entirely by choice, but everything happens for a reason."

"What if you would have had a choice?"

He thought about it for a second.

"I wouldn't have hurt you. I can't lie and say that I'm unhappy loving Emily. But, in the end, whom ever I was meant to be with is who I'd be happy with."

"So, I guess now I know that we weren't meant for each other then."

He shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe not." There was a momentary pause. "But, have you ever thought that maybe you're going through all this suffering and heartbreak so that you can appreciate whatever guy you end up with? Because I bet he'd be better for you than me, and he'd be your own paradise. Perhaps our ancestors are saving someone special for you."

I processed each word he spoke with speed. I understood what Sam meant and it made sense. The thing was that I was impatient but, his little sermon planted a seed of hope for a better future. Hope I needed, hope that _Sam _gave me.

"Do you believe in destiny? Or in free will?" I asked with utter anticipation that he could provide me with a hope felt answer.

"I think there's a balance. There are some things that we can't control because they are preordained to happen as determined by those with a higher power. For example, the fact that you are born a man or a women, the family you're born in to, maybe even who you love, things like that. But they also leave us choices in which we have the free will to make a decision. Ultimately, our choices shape the destiny that is laid out for us. The higher power knows the choices we will make even before we do. It's all balance, Lee-Lee. You can't have good without evil because you'd never know the distinction, you can't know happiness without sorrow, and you can't have love without hate..."

It suddenly seemed like common sense. I think deep down I knew all the things he told me, were what I believed. So now I came to the conclusion that Sam had faced me with the revelation that I did in fact believe and hope. All that was left for me to do was wait for the physical representation of hope to show itself to me.

I hadn't realized that I was mute during his whole speech until I noticed that he was trying to get my attention.

"Hey, are you listening?"

"What? Oh, yeah. I am, I'm just making sense of everything.

You know Sam, I really am happy for you, because you have already found your hope, you've found Emily. You have that happiness, I may … never have."

Great, it was all coming back. All the thoughts and the memories were coming back to torment me. That was it, this conversation was over. I had made enough of a fool of myself in front of him, showing this pathetic weakness.

"Leah, don't think like that. You're an amazingly stunning, beautiful, young girl."

"But what's that matter? Huh? Better than anyone, you know that I may never be normal again. I may never have the gift of bringing a new life into the world. Never."

He hugged me as the tears began to form up again.

"You don't know that for sure… I'm sorry. I am Lee-Lee, you also know that none of us chose this."

Oh yeah that was _original._ But I must say, I kind of appreciated that he cared enough to try and make things right between us.

"You're a strong girl. I know you can figure this out."

I pulled back a little from the embrace we were in and found a lock on his eyes. I was _almost_ certain that my feelings for him were no longer romantically inclined and that the love I felt for him was on a different level now.

May Emily forgive me for what I was about to do…

"I have to know Sam."

"What—"

I cut him off with a kiss. He didn't pull back; he just kind of took it. I pushed the kiss further with a hint of intensity, this made him react a little. I searched for every possible feeling that could have been running through my mind as our lips intertwined like so long along. Memories rushed, but that was all, just memories of things I _used to feel._Finally, I broke off the kiss.

"Leah, you shouldn't have."

"No Sam." I started laughing at my realization. He looked at me peculiarly with curious eyes.

"That's just it Sam. It, it didn't hurt and ache like I thought it would. I didn't feel that, special thing I used to. I love you, but in a different way, do you understand me?"

I got up and helped him up as I examined his confused expression. That was the proof I needed, my small test had concluded to a favorable outcome. My heart was healing, it was mending.

"Thank you, Sam." I hugged him tight. He was still slightly puzzled, but I knew he would understand it soon enough.

It was incredible how, in the middle of all this sorrow I felt a tinge of happiness. I was happy that I could truly, selflessly be happy for Sam and _Emily. _Happy that the hope for finding that physical representation of _hope_ was now an open option in my heart.

"I just know now, that I can move on Sam, I know that I can now truly be happy for you and for Emily. Oh, and please just don't mention, you know, this. It was just a, test. Tell her everything else if you please and let her know that I love her, in spite of everything. And also let her know that I apologize and hope she forgives me, can you forgive me Sam?"

It didn't take him half a second to answer me. "There was never anything for me to forgive you over."

I smiled at knowing that unlike me, he was able to move forward without resentment.

I eloquently shifted topics as we both slowly came to terms that all of what had just happened was, real.

"What's the latest news on my mother?"

He looked down on me sympathetically. "Last I heard she was still the same. Not getting worse but, not getting better either. As soon as I found out what had happened I came to look for you. We were all so worried about you."

"We?" I asked trying to give the word a definition of people to whom he might indicate.

"Me, Emily, Quil, Embry, Paul, Jared, _Jacob_." He put an emphasis on that last name, so much that it seemed like he had called him. Sure enough he appeared in seconds.

Sam hugged me, "I'm glad that things are, better." He smiled at me. "I have to get back and check up on Emily. If anything, I'm here for you _Lee-Lee_. Don't forget." He gestured a goodbye at Jacob and shifted into his wolf form taking off.

Jacob had a dress in his hand, a simple thing in a shade of off-white with minimal beading on the hem.

"Lee-lee? Since when does he feel so free to call you that?" He asked as he handed me the dress.

"You can say that we straightened things out. It's a long story, I'll tell you later." I slipped on the dress as he continued, "As much as I know we'd all hate to get you covered up. You're not a public exhibit for _other _guys." He smiled as he joked.

"Thanks" I said with an equally wide smile and hugged him. "I'm so glad you're smiling again Leah. I'm very glad because I have to tell you something."

I let go of him a little afraid of what I was about to hear next. "What are you talking about?" My smile faded as a more serious expression ran across my face. He hugged me again, "When I went back, Carlisle, he told me that… he's not entirely sure that Sue will … keep breathing tomorrow…"

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AN: Feedback or reviews or whatever hehee are appreciated. Thank you so much for reading! I appreciate it :D Hope you guys liked this chapter, here's a little preview of the next chapter !

Chapter 3 Preview;

_**JACOBS POV**__: Carlisle started explaining to me, "There is severe brain damage, one of the major arteries that provides oxygen to her brain is about to rupture... we need to operate right now." _

"_Right now?" I asked hoping to know if by "right now" he meant that while we talked he could actually be helping her._

"_Nessie!" She leapt up into my arms and that feeling of overprotection came over me, like I had an urge to guard her from anything and everything. It was a feeling I knew was useless to fight._

_**LEAH'S POV**__: "Promise me you'll be here when I get out... I can't face this night alone. Wondering if my mom's going to make it... Jake stay, tonight. Please..." I started rambling on..._

_He took me into a tight embrace. "Hey, hey, it's ok. I'll stay tonight and whenever you need me."_

_I kissed his cheek, "Thank you Jake."_

"_No need. Anyways, I was kind of hoping you'd ask me to stay..."_

Next Chapter UP SOON!


	3. Love

**AN: I changed the story title! :D The old one didn't really satisfy me so I finally came up with the title Undisclosed Desires in tribute to the new single from MUSE. I love that band it's absolutely amazing. Here are the lyrics, you can see why the song fits (:**

_I know you've suffered  
But I don't want you to hide  
It's cold and loveless  
I won't let you be denied_

_Soothing  
I'll make you feel pure  
Trust me  
You can be sure_

_I want to reconcile the violence in your heart  
I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask  
I want to exorcise the demons from your past  
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart_

_You trick your lovers  
That you're wicked and divine  
You may be a sinner  
But your innocence is mine_

_Please me  
Show me how it's done  
Tease me  
You are the one_

_I want to reconcile the violence in your heart  
I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask  
I want to exorcise the demons from your past  
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart_

_Please me  
Show me how it's done  
Trust me  
You are the one_

_I want to reconcile the violence in your heart  
I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask  
I want to exorcise the demons from your past  
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart_

; Thank you sooooo much for the reviews I really do love reading them(: They make me so happy :D Hehee. So now enjoy the story.

**IMPORTANT**: P.S.: There are 3 different stages of imprinting:

First Stage: If the person is young, the shape-shifter will act as an older sibling.

Second Stage: As the person gets older, the shape-shifter will also come to be their friend

Third Stage: When the person is old enough, the shape-shifter's feelings are suspected to grow into romantic love, but this hasn't been confirmed. (Source: Twilight Wiki)

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_Leah's POV;_

_"Thanks" I said with an equally wide smile and hugged him. "I'm so glad you're smiling again Leah. I'm very glad because I have to tell you something."_

_I let go of him a little afraid of what I was about to hear next. "What are you talking about?" My smile faded as a more serious expression ran across my face. He hugged me again, "When I went back, Carlisle, he told me that… he's not entirely sure that Sue will … keep breathing tomorrow…"_

**Jacob's POV**;

_Flashback:__ I neared the Cullen's house, which by the way, absolutely reeked, you'd think after a while I'd get used to it but, the stench never failed to make my face cringe. _

_Bella, Edward, and Renesmee were here all the time, more than at their own home. That place, only seemed to be used in the night time. UGH. I didn't even want to think. _

_I rang the doorbell, it was more for show than for anything, they would have smelled me by now. Bella opened the door and greeted me with a hug, but not with the usual smile I was used to. Even though Bella wasn't so close to Sue, she knew that she was Leah's mother and she also knew that it would upset me if anything hurt either of them. _

_She rubbed my shoulder, "Hey Jake, I'm sorry for what happened. How's Leah holding up?" _

"_Not that great." I said as I shook my head and looked to the floor._

"_I know what happened with Seth… if there's anything any of us can do, just tell us." That was a nice offer but unless I wanted my head cut off by Leah I'd better not get them so involved. _

"_Thanks. I'll pass that onto Leah." Not._

"_Ok… Oh, Reneesme, she turned in early but you can still go see her. I imagine you're going to console Leah and spend more time with her, but Reneesme will want to see you too." _

_And I would want to see her also._

_Bella slightly smiled and left for the living room, she looked so different now. I still couldn't get over it. Her face was impenetrably pale but there was a remarkable degree of further beauty she had acquired. She was no longer near as clumsy, every step she took was full of grace. Her hair fell long to the waist, wavy not nearly so curly or straight. The brown contouring shades of her brown hair color glistened as she moved. She was a dreaded vampire now; the shade of her eye color was no longer brown. When I saw myself in her eyes I became more and more convinced that I loved her, but not in the way I had thought. Not romantically, maybe at one point but it wasn't true love. That's something I think she had with her beloved blood sucker. _

_I went to check in on Sue first, I wanted to know how she was doing. I hoped she'd be doing better. I entered the guest room where Carlisle had translated her to personally take care of her. The large windows that replaced the walls were over shunned by tan curtains. The room was vaguely different kinds of white. There was only a bed in the center of the room backed up to the only wall. There was complex machinery on both sides of the bed, the wires all led to Sue who lied in an unconscious state underneath the white sheets. It moved my heart to witness her like this. I was so glad that Leah and Seth weren't seeing her like this, it'd destroy them. _

_There was an oxygen tube in her mouth and another set of wires that provided air to her nose. Her arms were full of different colored cables, and tubes that carried different liquids. Her face had become so pale that she could almost blend in with these leeches; her lips lost their natural color and now looked dull and chapped. The only color that was physically on her body was that of multi-colored purple blue bruises, scabs and bandages. Ultimately she looked lifeless and I wondered whether she would make it out alive._

_"Carlisle is a great doctor." I heard Edward say from behind me; of course he could read me. _

"_He wants to talk to you. He's waiting at his office." By the time I turned around he wasn't there, but I didn't have time to deal with him._

_I walked into Carlisle's office not bothering to pay attention much to anything but him. "So tell me the reality of things." I said bluntly skipping the greeting, perhaps that was rude but at this certain point I didn't care. He folded his arms and set his elbows on the glass desk in front of him. "We're going to have to operate." Oh no, that couldn't have been good. "She suffered severe brain damage, the brain is one of the most vital organs, and without it— she dies. Now, as time has been progressing well one of the main vessels is beginning to rupture." I really didn't see how this could get any worse. _

"_How bad does she need this?" I asked wondering if while I was here questioning him he could have been helping her. "As soon as possible, right now in fact, I'm going to have to take her back to the hospital." He paused and took a deep breath; he looked distressed as if for the first time he was measuring his options very carefully. Since Forks was a small town not a lot of these major accidents happened and these situations weren't faced. "Jacob, the 24 hours after the surgery will be crucial. If she's able to get through them without complications she will stabilize. But one complication— I'm saddened to say that it may be her last hours." Ok, I took my last statement back, it did just get worse…_

_I entered the room in which Reneesme slept, she looked so adorable. The ringlets of curls that took the texture of her hair dangled off the side of the bed. The natural blush of her cheeks seemed rosy pink in the dim light. I began to walk over to her bed and then she woke up attentive, and when she saw me a wide smile beamed on her little angelic face. "Jacob!" She ran to me and jumped up to give me a hug. "How are you munchkin?" She looked like she was eight years old already when she was only about 3 and a half. She was growing up so fast; I felt this sort of instinct to be protective of her, against anything and everything…_

_She touched my cheek and sent a rush of images that illustrated her day in vivid detail through my mind. "I missed you Jake" She said as she placed her head on my shoulder, I looked at her and wondered how it was possible that one day I could come to be romantically interested in her. But, there was this indescribable feeling that transcended me, holding this small entity of life near me. Renesmee was one of the things that had my gravitational pull down to earth. Yet, I felt more like her brother, a guardian or a protector, but I guess it was because we were only in the 2nd stage of imprintation._ _I loved her a ton but, I wasn't sure I could picture it like "that", I guess time would tell. I've just been waiting for the actual feeling of love to dawn on me. _

_I walked over to her bed and sat her on my lap, "Renesmee, I don't know if I'll be able to stay tonight." I told her as I played with the promise bracelet I had given her. It felt like a bracelet that promised I would always be there to PROTECT her and let no harm near her. "Is it because of Leah?" She asked looking for my gaze, "Yeah, but please understand. She needs me right now, and as her … friend I have to help her cope with the situation." She looked thoughtful for a second and then slowly raised her hand to touch my cheek once again. She showed me that she wasn't so pleased and wanted me to stay. But she also showed me that if I wished to help her then I should go. I tucked her in bed and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead. "Goodnight Ness, keep safe and I love you— remember that." _

_Flashback End._

Leah's angst snapped me back into reality.

"She's in surgery, right now?"

"She's most likely going into it in a couple hours, if not now."

**Leah's POV;**

My heart dropped, _why? _I buried my face in my hands and felt Jacob's warmth enclosing around me.

"Lee- bear, I'm sure she's going to be fine."

"I want to go home, Jacob."

Within minutes we were at my house, "I need to shower." I told him as I smelled myself.

"Yeah, me too." He said as he smelled himself too and smiled at me. He waited to see if I would respond with another smile. "Jake, please promise me you'll be here when I get out."

"Count on it." He hugged me, kissed my cheek, and darted out the window in that swift precise order.

I let the water run as I undressed. I stepped in the shower and let the water fall freely on me, the rays of water became visible when they hit my skin. The steam of the hot water began to cloud every inch of the bathroom. The flashbacks of my dream kept hitting me, they plunged me into wonder, wonder if that's how it had really all gone by. Then, it got to be too much; I couldn't get the damn images out of my head. I retracted to the corner of the tub where the water nearly reached me and I began to cry. I couldn't even tell I _was_ crying until tasted the tears in my mouth. _Salty_. They blended in with the water so well that I was sure Jacob wouldn't notice that I was _still _crying. I wondered when I would eventually run out of reasons to cry, before I ran out of tears. I had to compose myself, after a couple of minutes I found the strength to pull myself together and finish showering.

I put on a plain gray tank top and a pair of loose shorts with a pale blue plaid design. I applied lotion to my skin, it felt so much cleaner and softer. I smelled fresh and looked all nice and clean except for my eyes. I examined them in the mirror, they were red. Talk about "not noticeable". I combed through my hair which I had grown out until about my mid back. Even if having longer hair meant having longer fur, which was ok. Truthfully, I didn't really like short hair on myself.

When I walked out into my room I saw Jacob waiting patiently on my bed with his hands folded behind his head as he starred at the ceiling, looking solicitously. When he noticed I was standing near the door he sat up. "There she is."

I walked over to the bed as he got up and hugged him, "Thanks so much Jake."

He hugged me back tighter then when we pulled away he brought my face up so it was clearly visible. "You were crying? Your eyes are red." I pulled my face free from his hand and buried it on his shoulder. He stroked my hair, "Lee-bear, I haven't seen that beautiful smile of yours in a long time."

I remained quiet, and then he started tickling me. I couldn't help but laugh, to my dismay I was extremely ticklish _but _to his dismay so was he. Our laughter flooded the room, for a moment all of the negative things in my mind drifted. It felt good in a way, even if I could hardly breathe. All the tickling made us move violently, trying to block each other's hands. We fell back onto the bed; I landed on top of him. We were amused, but we stopped our little childish display. We stayed like this, with my head rested on his chest and his hand on my back.

I turned a little to my side, "I can hear your heartbeat." He smiled at my remark and put his hand up, waiting for approval to feel my heart. I nodded and smiled back at him. His warm hand spread across the left side of my chest. I subtlety slid off of him, but kept my hand over his heart, his free hand then topped mine.

"The same, our heartbeats, they're in sync." He took my free hand and placed it over my own heart. Our hearts were in fact beating together in rhythm. "We're so much alike Lee-Bear."

_Yeah we were incredibly so much alike._ It made me think about all the things that tied us together, being wolves _of course_ and we had both been terribly heartbroken over loving someone who didn't quite love us the same way. And finally the way our love for that person had become the same love they had for us. "Yeah, we are so much alike _Jakey Bear_" Yeah, I teased him because up until a couple of minutes ago he had never associated my name with that of a bear.

He just smiled at me and kissed my forehead, "Yeah we like …" I looked into his eyes as he made some funny face trying to figure out the next word he was going to say "… like complete each other, you know?" _Yeah I did know but I don't think he meant like I would have liked. _Wait, how would I have liked it? Anyways, I just disregarded that and simply replied yes.

"Except I'm the hotter one" I said jokingly as I got off the bed, " Ha ha ha, if you think so, Leah Clearwater." He got up and I turned to face him, "Yes I know so." I hugged him and he hugged me, but he also rolled his eyes, "I think it's the other way around." I laughed at his remark, some part of me _I think_ thought it was true. "Ha ha, as if Jacob Black."

"Well I think I should go now, it's getting really late."

"What? No, no please stay. I don't want to be alone tonight when my mom- she- my mother is like …" I started babbling on.

"Hey, hey, hey. It's ok. I'll stay."

I hugged him really tight. "Thanks Jake."

"Psh, what? No need. Besides, I was kind of hoping you'd ask me to stay."

The night crept on, I loved the ability Jacob had to make me smile, but then again I think he had that effect on everyone. _"Look! You've been smiling! It makes you look even more beautiful than you already are; you light up this whole room." _We had so much fun that night, we played video games, ate ice cream and messed around with the whipped cream, we laughed and we didn't care about anything or anyone outside of thee wall of my house. _I told him,__ "You know reality is still waiting for us out there?" And he replied, "Right now, reality can wait." _

We had finally decided to watch a movie, a Rush Hour marathon. We laid down some blankets on the floor and I made some popcorn. I took a seat on my pillow, "Oh! Popcorn!" He made a move for the popcorn bowl and I slapped his hand away. "Patience." I smiled at him trying to keep a laugh in side. He pouted and looked at me with a "you little" stare. "Open." I said and threw a popcorn ball into his mouth. "Mmm, why thank you." He smiled, grabbed my hand and kissed the top of it. "You're welcome, sir." I said with a giggle. "Let's play catch." He suggested. I started throwing more popcorn at him; I missed his mouth by long shots. "You know, you could be the next great NBA player." _Hahaha. _"Shut up! Haha." I pushed him down then positioned myself next to him resting on my elbow.

"You grew out your hair a bit, it looks nice." He said as he grabbed a strand of my hair. "Yeah, I went to one of the old Quileute elder woman, she gave me some sort of like potion thing to make it grow." Our hair wouldn't grow since we were sort of frozen in time, but any "magic" seemed to be fair game in our world.

"Oh yeah, _magic_ or whatever it is— it can do curses and it can do wonders."

"Yeah." I started to think a little, but he interrupted my thoughts. "Oh look the movie's starting."

We lay down close to each other, we laughed at the funny things Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker did. Not long into the film I felt Jacobs arm creep around my shoulders, I didn't mind. _Why didn't I mind? _ By the end of the move I heard Jacob snoring, couldn't blame him, I was half asleep myself. I managed to get up and turn off the television. Then, without even thinking I returned close to the warm heat of his body.

_11 pm ; 12 am ; 1 am ; Nightmares. Again. _

"Leah! Leah! Wake up, it's only a dream!" I assumed that I was fidgeting around a lot; I woke up to Jacob shaking my shoulders. I had seen it so clear like many times before, I wanted to get the stupid images out of my head already. I felt like they were aggravating flies chasing after me in a room with no doors and no windows. I was prisoner of my dreams.

_2:00 am ; 3:00 am; 3:30 am; More Nightmares._

"Lee-Bear come on, please." He stroked my hair as I tried to silence my muffled cries on his shoulder.

_4:00 am ; 4:30 am. The replay of my same nightmare._

This time I woke myself up and found the wet tears against my cheek and Jacobs shoulder. I was afraid to go back to sleep, but I was afraid to be awake too. There was nowhere where I would be safe from these terrifying things. For the moment being I decided that it was in my best interest to stay awake, at least this night _with Jake at my side, _I could feel a little more conformity.

The glow of the few stars in the night seeped through a crack between the pale curtains that draped over the windows. A blow from the wind made one of the curtains sway in a swirl; it broke my train of thought. Although, I wasn't really thinking of anything much but the fact my mother could be healing or getting worse.

I realized that I was actually resting on Jacobs arm when he in took a deep breath and moved himself closer to me, hugging me. He was about 3 inches away from my face; instead of slapping him away like I should have, I noticed the _handsomeness _in his face. I also noticed how delicately defined his chest and his stomach were. My index finger traced over some of the lines that were marked on his abdomen. I lingered my way to his chest and stopped whence I reached his heart. Then I extended my hand over the rapid beats of his heart and felt them even more so intensely. With my other hand I found my own heart and picked up its beats too. _Still they were the same_, beating in unison with the same speed, rhythm, and pattern.

I think that's when my realization hit the hardest. I think I felt something more for him than I ever thought I could feel for anyone. Wait, did I mention I ever thought I could feel for anyone _especially Jacob Black? _Something maybe even more than I ever felt for Sam. _Love?_ I didn't quite know, I actually refused to think of that preposterous idea. Me love him? That little mutt, whatever.

My eyes looked over his face while he slept as I wondered what he was dreaming of, or if he was dreaming at all. Truthfully I was so thankful to him, and somewhere in my heart I knew that I didn't want to discard the idea of _love_. I pulled myself up a little, just enough for my lips to reach his check. I pressed them softly on his skin; his mouth seemed so close to me. An urge in me wanted to kiss his own lips but my mind yelled NO, while my heart seemed to say YES. When he in took a deep breath and stirred a little I quickly closed my eyes and pretended to have been sleeping.

**Jacob's POV;**

I felt something smooth stroke my face, like a breeze sort of brushing over me. It took me a bit out of my sleep. As I slowly opened my eyes I saw Leah on my shoulder. The long locks of her hair glistened with the star's luminosity. As the polish from her hair lit her face I noted how she never failed to look beautiful, I remembered why I once thought she was beautiful. And, I knew I still thought so after all this time. I saw her hand move a little and detected that she was awake. She was never that good at faking stuff anyways.

It clicked. In that moment I knew that the soft strokes I felt on my skin were actually the gentle touch of her pressed lips against my cheek.

I thought about everything. I felt so different when I was with Renesmee, like it was just me and her tiny _soul. _When I was with Leah, I felt we were the only ones here, but in a different way. It was all so damn confusing, my feelings betrayed me. As I kept thinking I ran my hand down her arm picking up on the smoothness of its texture. _Did Leah really want to kiss me? _I should have pretended to be asleep. _Hmm, maybe not. _But then again, did _I _want to kiss _her? _Hours ago when I felt our equal paced heart beats it felt as if my heart had everything it needed. The sound _tun tun, tun tun, _perforated my eardrums, I was still mesmerized by the feeling it induced on me. I felt such _love _for her. _Love. Love. _I repeated the word over and over again. _Love._ I could absolutely not _love _anyone, especially not _Leah Clearwater. _Really, _love? _Renesmee is my imprintee, I mean of course we'd come to wed some day. Then, how did that fit the possibility of _love _towards Leah. ; I felt this pull towards Leah, it was hard to explain but, it was like a magnetic attraction. A feeling of longing for _her_, her _body_, her _soul_, her _mind_, her _being_, and her _heart. ; her love? _I was so confused. How would I feel romantically when Renesmee came of age?

Hesitantly and slowly I neared my face close to hers and delicately kissed her soft lips with mine. At the first contact of our lips her face was shadowed by a pained expression as she slowly opened her eyes. I pulled back a little as we looked back into each other's eyes. I could see in them that she was just as confused as I was. But then suddenly, she kissed _me_, swiftly and passionately. I didn't think but to responded with the same ardor. I slowly ran my fingers through her smooth textured tresses, I felt like I was in the still of a cheesy romantic movie. The thing is, I liked it and I was _more than ok_ with it.

Just as she had initiated the kiss she redundantly broke it off.

"What was that for, why did you kiss me?" She asked kind of perplexed as she touched her lips.

"Well why did you kiss me?" I asked her demonstrating the same intent on getting an answer.

The darkness that filled the room made it unbearably hard to see a clear picture of the expression on her face. "I-I, I don't … I-I shouldn't have. _You_ shouldn't have. I'm sorry." That's all she managed to say.

"Leah… -I;" I searched for some sort of words, even if I didn't know exactly what I was searching for.

She interrupted me, "Mmm, yeah. Jake, you're … tired." She turned her back to me facing the opposite direction.

"What? Oh come on, Leah."

"You know, maybe this wasn't such a brilliant idea. Maybe you shouldn't have stayed tonight. "

_What? _Unbelievable. I got frustrated and laid on back while I grabbed my head and ran my fingers throughout my hair. I tried to touch her shoulder but she squirmed away. _Brat. _

I'd like to think she was _my brat_, exclusively.

She turned to face me again, "This. Can't be. This _us, we,_ it just… it can't be."

"Wait, so you're admitting you feel something— special for me."

"Jacob. That's not the point." Her voice grew lower at this statement. She did feel something for me, like I felt for her. Even if we weren't quite sure of what it was.

"Then why can't we at least _try _something?"

"… and Renesmee?" She rebutted. Renesmee, of course. My little angle.

"You know I don't even see her like that yet."

"_Yet._ You said it. So tell me, what's going to happen when you no longer return my feelings because, you will reserve them for her. I don't blame her or you Jake but what's going to happen to _me? _Huh? I'm going to go through another _heartbreak_? No thank you. I'd rather spare my heart form a bigger pain by going through the smaller hassle of ending this now." _Spare herself the heartbreak of having me, being happy for a while and then loosing me by just not having me at all. _She was right, though. I couldn't put her through anything hurtful, not after everything she'd been through.

"You remember you once told me that all the lines that held you to your life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who you were disconnected, and floated up into space. But, you were not left drifting because a new string held you where you were. That string _is_ Renesmee."

" … I caught the string of before it drifted away, and it holds me here still today. I just didn't know it— but now, I know." Leah and Renesmee were the most important women in my life aside to Bella. I knew that one day those "strings" would weigh in on me and I'd have to choose which string was stronger. Either my heart would choose, or imprintation would."

After a pause of silence her voice broke the stillness, "I hate imprinting, it's stupid."

"Yeah I know." I agreed with her but I couldn't be sorry for imprinting having brought the being that is _Renesmee _into my heart. "True human love is …" I searched for a word that would fit. If it was true love that I felt for Leah I couldn't blame it for bringing her into my heart either.

"I wish things could be different." I said sincerely.

"Yeah a lot of people do. But they're not so… look let's just pretend that this never happened ok? We were asleep this whole night and morning." I stared at her for a good 4 seconds before turning my gaze away.

"Fine."

"Goodnight Jacob."

"Goodnight Leah."

_**Leah's Thoughts**__: _

_It would be better this way, even if it hurt having him near and feeling so strongly for him. _

_It'd be better in the long run because I wouldn't hurt so much inside when he'd be taken away from me. _

_It'd be more painful to comprise him and then have him be absent. _

_I'd rather just abstain from him so the ache won't be so transcending. _

_**Jacobs's Thoughts:**_

_I tried to convince myself that it would be better for Leah this way. Even if having her near hurt because, I felt so strongly for her. _

_It would be better in the long run because it would spare her heart the feeling of pain since one day I would involuntarily love another._

_**Jacob & Leah's Thoughts (Both):**_

_But one thing was for sure._

_Whatever laid in _our_ future—was unknown …

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**AN:** There you go! Sorry I took a little longer to get this chapter up but it's longer than most of them(:

PLEASE, PLEASE review; reviews are what keep me going. Any questions or concerns ASK, I'll answer. Tell me what you think and what you liked!


	4. Light

**AN: **Hey, thanks so much for the reviews(: You're awesome people!

Sorry for not updating for a couple of weeks but with the holidays around and school starting soon :*( my time has been limited. Yes sadly I'm preparing and doing homework for school. When school starts I may delay on updates because of homework and extracurriculars but if you guys show a lot of interest I WILL make sure I update ASAP!

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_**Leah's Thoughts**__: _

_It would be better this way. Even if it hurt having him near and feeling so strongly for him. _

_It'd be better in the long run because I wouldn't hurt so much inside when he'd be taken away from me. _

_It'd be more painful to comprise him and then have him be absent. _

_I'd rather just abstain from him so the ache wouldn't be so transcending. _

_**Jacobs's Thoughts:**_

_I tried to convince myself to comprehend that it would be better for Leah this way. Even if having her near hurt because I felt so strongly for her. _

_It would be better in the long run because it would spare her feelings of pain since one day I would involuntarily love another._

_**Jacob & Leah's Thoughts (Both):**_

_But one thing was for sure._

_Whatever laid in the, no, our future … was unknown …_

**Jacob's POV;**

The light shone through my eyelids; I woke up to nothing but silence, Leah was still snoring meaning: she was getting some rest. I tried to go back to sleep but I couldn't, I had that urge to just get up, so I did. I walked into the kitchen and took the liberty of grabbing a drink; after all I'm pretty sure Seth had gotten a good share of food from my house at some point or another.

When I came back in the room I found Leah sitting up on the floor looking around clueless; I guess trying to realize where she was. She glanced over me but it took her about three seconds to realize she had done so. She did that whole double take look.

"Jacob?" She looked kind of out of it.

She got up and ran hard into my chest hugging me at the same time, I was a little surprised at first. But then my body just molded to hold hers in an embrace, I stroked her hair with my free hand. _Pretend last night never happened. _Her hair smelled lovely, like—

"My mom!" she said alarmingly, "Jake let's go! Get dressed" Leah said as she scrambled through some drawers for clothes. She ran into the bathroom and ran out just as fast. We came out the back door and as soon as we were submerged into the forest deep enough, we shifted into our wolf counterparts.

As the wind pelted on my fur, I noticed that lately we weren't trying to bite our heads off all the time. There weren't so many sarcastic remarks; it's like Sue's condition brought us together even more. We were mellower and compassionate towards each other. The ironic humor we always presented was lacking, and in truth I kind of missed it.

_Well sorry for not being my usual sardonic self. _She interrupted my train of thought.

_I wasn't done. _I defended myself holding back on the derogatory term I was gonna spill.

Yeah I missed it but I liked this too, both in their own way. I could tell Leah was trying to shield her thoughts.

_I'm not trying to shield anything_, she snapped at me. I was about to reply with my own snarky comment but I stopped when she came to a sudden halt. I stopped in my tracks right behind her. She slowly walked around to a bush and came back around dressed in her human form. I did the same in another nearby bush.

We now stood in front of the vampire lair. As out of place as it seemed I couldn't help but think how weird it was seeing Leah like this. For so long I had a perception of her, which she tattered, when she turned into one of us. But now, she shattered that perception too. She was confusing, mysterious, like an intriguing puzzle. Yet, I knew so much about her now; how she would hide her emotions so much to the extent that I saw through her. Like now for example, she was putting forth a brave face, but one which was not her own. She was scared and I was kind of scared for her.

She starred at the huge house planted in the middle of the forest, like it was a literal monster connecting the metaphoric monster the house represented. It was as if she was waiting for that monster to consume her. I made my mind up that I would help her face whatever news that house held. With that decision I slowly neared my hand to hold hers; I shifted my fingers through the spaces between her fingers and our hands interlocked.

Without objection from either of us we walked toward the Cullen house, together.

I knocked on the door and in seconds I saw Alice pop open the door accompanied by that other blood sucker who was her mate. "Hi!" Her bubblyness transmitted even when she wasn't trying for it to, it was annoying. "My deepest condolences to you Leah." She hugged Leah abruptly. We were all surprised but strangely I felt less tense, I'm pretty sure that other vampire used his "special gift" or whatever on me. "Jasper and I just got back from our little 'honeymoon' but, I won't bore you with the details." She prompted us in, "I'm sure you want to know how your mother is doing."

I let Leah walk ahead of me, I knew she hated coming here and I also knew that this place was intimidating to her even if she pretended it wasn't. In the living room Renesmee and _Nauhl _were sitting on the _loveseat _couch talking, or so it seemed. _What was he doing here_? Before Ness even flickered to notice me, I saw that she and Leah locked eyes. They gave each other a weird and awkward stare for about 4 seconds before Leah broke the gaze and continued to follow Alice.

"Welcome Leah… Jacob." Carlisle greeted us; we were now in his office. "I know it's been difficult for you Leah, especially now."

Her face was expressionless, "How's my mother? She asked trying to get to the point and end the anxiety. He pointed to one of the two chairs in front of his desk, "No thank you. I'll stand." Her tone was cold, I came closer to her.

"Look I don't mean to be rude but I just want to know if my mother is alive, or _dead?_"

I held my breath and I felt her body tense as _we_ waited for an answer.

"She made it through the surgery without complications, Sue is a remarkably strong woman. " Her body loosened as she heard the news and she slightly fell into my arms.

"But…"

"_But?" _Leah asked while she kept a slight hold on me.

"A couple of hours subsequent to her surgery she, she… fell into a coma…"

"Into a what?" she asked in disbelief propelling her head forward as if trying to understand the words. She had heard them the first time, because she repeated the words dimly under her breath. I felt her body kind of collapse a little.

"How long?"

"There's no exact way of knowing there have been people who have been in comas for 2 hours, 2 days, 2 months, even 20 years. However we count with a resource that other humans don't. Alice. She has found Sue's future since there has been no interaction from you or your brothers that could block her view."

I helped keep her on her feet, I could couldn't imagine the pain she was in, heck, _I didn't want to._ I couldn't even relate to her so much because when my mom passed away, I was only a knee crawler. But I did have an insight on the pain because even after all this time I missed that woman… every day. This just added to the things we had in common, if her mom passed, our mothers would have been both taken by car accidents. _Déjà vu. _

In that moment I started noticing how different I acted when Bella was in pain as opposed to when Leah was hurting. I mean yeah, I thought that I couldn't love anyone like Bella not for a milestone, not nearly even Leah but, turns out I have. _In a different way, sort of a more true way._

"What did she see?" Leah asked zoning me back into reality.

"If things continue to be as is without any sort of interface from those who are abstained from Alice's visions then she'll survive." Clearly Dr. Fang here was stalling and Leah was getting far too impatient.

"How long?" She repeated.

"About 5 years or so." He paused like we were in the middle of some bad soap opera nearing the end. I turned slightly to get a glimpse of Leah's expression. Her eyes weren't so wide with horror as I expected, she looked more mad than anything. I instantly felt bad for myself because I was in such close range of her.

She used all her force to break free from my grasp and ran to look for her mother. I couldn't let her see Sue like that so, I ran after her hoping she wouldn't find the correct room…

**Leah's POV; **

_5 years? _What the hell did they supposed I was going to do for 5 years? 5 years when my mom would be lying on a death bed in a leech lair. They didn't know _anything_; my mom could just be sleeping or something. If I took her to the old Quileute Great Mother she could use one of her magic to make her wake up.

I ran as fast as it was possible to do so in this house without completely destroying everything. I made my way peering into rooms, alerting others in the house although quite frankly, they were the least of my worries. I heard Jacob running behind me, _he wasn't stopping me. _Naturally I could outrun him easily but my movement in this enclosure was limited. He neared me more but I dodged his grasp, I was getting restless but then I finally came into the room …

When I saw my mom there, everything just slowed down to a ridiculous rate. I came to a sudden stop at the frame of the door; the longer tresses of my hair flew past my face and then very gradually returned to my side. For a second I just heard my panting coming from both the little chicken run I'd participated in and the, well … shock.

"Leah!"

I heard Jacob's voice distantly in the background, faintly and kind of echoy. I didn't pay much attention to it, what I did notice was how horribly _lifeless_ my mom looked. I could have thought she was dead and gone; it seemed so peculiar to me. I was always so used to seeing my mom thriving, so strong, alive, confronting any kind of adversity that stood in her way. She. Was. My role model, she was so independent and beautiful but not now, now she seemed _defeated._

The mental description I had of her did not match the woman that laid there so helpless. _I refused to believe she would be like this for five years. _Then I felt something grab a hold of my waist; _Jacob_. I was too astonished to try and free myself; he shifted my body to face him, away from the sight of my lifeless mother. He hugged me then and placed his chin on top of my head stroking my hair telling me something I couldn't quite make out.

The urge I had to cry was overwhelming but I had to suck it up and stop being such a baby about it. Not that it wasn't ok to cry and let it out, it's just that my preference is to do that alone without witnesses. I let the more remorseful side of me take control for now.

"NO!" I tried to pull away from his hold but _shit_ he was stronger than me, I didn't catch him by surprise this time. "No Jacob! Let me go!" I nearly yelled at him, I didn't know why but I kept trying to tug free. "Leah! Leah listen to me …" He tried to reason with me.

"No, no, no, no! I have to wake her, or get her out of here or something. I just… just please let me go!" I was hoping I could wake her up, _hoping. _I couldn't deny that deep inside I knew that it was useless.

I wasn't long before there was a scene and the whole blood sucking coven was trying to tranquilize me, they brought in that other leech to calm me. And it worked, to an extent of course I felt _soother _but that wasn't enough… I just panted and looked at the piercing eyes that looked at me now. _Just great_.

The alarmed face of the pixie haired parasite caught my attention, looked like she was staring into blank space. She must be the one who has the future seeing ability. I pulled myself up a little since I was practically almost on the floor from trying to break free; still in Jacobs' arms. _Alice? _I think that's her name, looked at Carlisle, Carlisle looked at Edward, and he looked back at me. _What the hell? A vision? How? I was here and so was Jacob. Must have been inevitable. _

In a matter of seconds the beeping of a machine broke the irrelevantly tense silence streaming from short beeps to— a flat line. Carlisle was at her side in a matter of seconds; Jacob let me go and went to Carlisle's side. I felt really woozy and unstable, I grabbed onto the door to stabilize myself. I felt like I was literally going to pass out but I wasn't going to allow myself that luxury, not now. Vaguely I saw Carlisle punch some numbers into the machine, _was something going wrong?_ I'd seen a lot of movies and T.V. shows to know that a flat line usually meant the worst…

I must have not looked that great because when Jacob looked at me, he kind of looked worried. He came back to my side and asked me if I was ok, I probably shouldn't have but I recoiled and said I was fine… even if I wasn't.

"Please don't worry, it was only a loosened cable she's back to …"

_Normal? Was he going to say normal? _"Her original state."

I guess that was better than being dead, but it wasn't good enough.

**Jacob's POV: **

I couldn't really judge her if she was being bi***y right now, so I just kind of took all her little maneuvers in without a word. Her expression changed from mad to hurt to mad to hurt to I don't even know what anymore. She seemed like she got control of herself but I wouldn't trust on that. She looked me in the eyes with some sort of apologetic gaze. I wanted to hug her and tell her everything was going to be ok, but for some reason I didn't.

She turned back to look at her mother, then she walked nearer to her. No one stopped her because, she looked partially sane at the moment but, I knew better. I followed her very slowly, she leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek but I grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"No. Her future will be lost… You can't interact with her."

She stopped one inch away from her mom, she slowly retracted and looked at me; I saw the anger flicker back in her eyes. I backed away. She took a good look at everyone in the room and then using one of the metal bars that held up the curtains over some window she cracked it open. Shattered all the glass everywhere and then jumped out. We all heard the transformation…

"I'm really sorry Carlisle…" I started and he interrupted me with a smile, what a marshmallow. "Its fine I understand, go and be … whatever she needs you to be for her."

I nodded and as I was about to head out the window …

"Jacob…" a soft angelic voice called out to me. I turned and from behind Bella and Edward Renesmee came forth. I looked in her eyes; she wanted me to stay with her. I couldn't blame her, I hadn't been around as much as I would have liked the past few days. In that moment I felt like I was split in two, _stay with Nessie _or _go after Leah and comfort her._ My mind told me to stay but my heart, it told me to go.

The thing that would ever worry me the most was that Ness had to be safe, she _is _safe here. I know that Bella wouldn't let a fly touch that kid, let alone danger. Edward and the rest of their little coven had escaped danger before and the kid herself was pretty tough. She was safe here, so I had nothing to be concerned about. With that in mind, I mouthed the words: _I love you_ to her and sprinted out the window, letting the changing of my form rip through my body.

_**Third POV;**_

_In the Cullen's House: Everyone tried to decipher the awkward moment silently in their heads. "Let's try and be comprehensive, we cannot imagine the rush of emotions going on in that poor girls head." Carlisle pointed out to the gathered vampires, he tapped into their emotions hinting them to go on with their day as if nothing happened. He led them out into the living room, "Oh man! I forgot the game is on today!" Emmet said with a sudden enthusiasm in his voice, Jasper agreed and in one second their faces were plastered on the screen. "Don't tell me." Jasper said as he looked lovingly into Alice's eyes, she already knew who won. "We made a bet." Emmet said as he took a hold of Rosalie's waist. "We're going to go hunting if you don't mind." Edward said with a smile as he kissed the top of his child's forehead, Bella squeezed his arm and smiled too. She whispered into Renesmee's ear something about "letting it go" and "that she was loved"._

"_We'll go with you. Our honeymoon was spent on… other activities rather than hunting" Alice said as she skipped over to Rosalie, "Jazz, Carlisle and Emm will join us soon." She said giggling. Esme pecked Carlisle on the lip, "We'll be 12 miles out." She said as he hugged her. "Yeah, yeah we'll catch up with you in 30 minutes, it's almost over" Emmet said before turning to the screen as soon as the commercial was over._

**Jacob's POV;**

_Did I really leave because I knew Ness was safe or because this other will was stronger?_ The flooding thoughts of Leah reminded me that this was no time to think about that.

_SETH! _Her thought was so god damn loud I could have practically been left death if it was a normal sound wave.

_Seth Clearwater! Do you not fu**ing hear me? If you don't come home right now-_

_Turn around Leah._

Then in the clearing I saw her, she turned to a shadow in the forest and Seth came forward. She ran over to his side and hugged him in a wolf like way by just rubbing her head next to his. It was kind of sweet but then out of nowhere she backed up and in a motion that human eyes would not have followed, she took out her claws and pawed Seth right in the face. I had to give her props, she had a pretty good hand there but poor Seth whimpered, because like I said she took out everything in that hit.

It started getting out of hand when she started cursing a whole bunch of trash and hitting him more. I let out a howl to get their attention but none of them turned, Seth just let himself be chewed off like a puppy toy. He felt guilty for leaving all this emotional crap to his sister so he didn't object to the beating. I had to step in so that she wouldn't kill the poor kid.

_Are you out of your mind Leah?_

_No! Look Seth, I'm sorry alright? Maybe this anger should be taken out on someone else! _

She started hitting me then, what the _hell_? By "someone else" I was hoping she hadn't meant me.

_Fight back Jacob, fight back! _Then I understood…

I was not going to hit a girl, no matter how many times in the past I had wanted to rip her limbs out. This time it was different, she was hurting and she couldn't help but be a total—

_Shut up and fight back _she interrupted my thoughts _you can hit a girl if she gives you permission._

I just defended myself and waited for her to get tired; she could see that I was not going do anything to her. Then a thought crossed her mind that perplexed me…

_Your imprint Black, I'm going to kill her._

She ran towards the Cullen's house like a flash but I took a sprint forward and pushed her onto the floor. She slightly whimpered; she was below me, nailed to the ground. I growled at her through my teeth. She seemed so small compared to my monstrous size; we both knew she couldn't fight me. At least not while we were wolves because of the whole alpha shenanigan. After a long 15 seconds I stepped back giving her a chance to get up.

It looked more like an escape to me; I heard her phase back to her human form behind the bushes. I growled again once more to reassure her that she was not allowed as to so much even breathe on Renesmee. She turned around and starting walking away raising one hand as she stomped her way out…

**Leah's P.O.V:**

Ugh! These were the times when I hated the whole authority power Jacob was bestowed with in being alpha. There had to be another way, another way for me to try and do whatever I was doing because frankly, I didn't really know myself. Was I trying to get myself hurt? Kill myself maybe? I don't know probably inflict some sort pain that would physically overcome the emotional hurt I felt inside. I mean, I'm no stranger to pain but just not having felt it so strongly for a while and then all of a sudden feel it again. I was tired of putting on a brave face; my mom was my hero, my everything, and the role model I looked to for strength. If she couldn't be strong now, where would all my force come from?

I walked along the trees at an immensely slowly pace immersed in my thoughts. The stench caught my attention this time, but not because it reeked like you couldn't imagine but, because there wasn't as much as usual. You'd think I'd get used to it with Jake always being here but it was impossible to not wince at its smell. I was told the parasites were handling our beautiful aroma so much better than I ever would. I guess there were less of them perhaps that's why it didn't stink so badly.

Through the glass window I saw one of the little parasites dashing down the stairs. He stopped mid stride when he noticed I was looking at him. When his pitch dark eyes saw through mine, I got an idea— I remembered that he was that one, the newest addition to their little group of animal bloodsuckers. He was that one who Jacob told me about had lost his control in one of Bella's birthday parties. The one who was more susceptible to give into temptation.

I rolled up my shorts to ride even higher up my thigh and adjusted my shirt to reveal my midriff after I had signaled him to come outside. I convoluted the strategies of my plan to work in my favor. I bit my lip as hard as I could until I tasted blood wash into my mouth. _It was almost perfect._

"Leah?" Jasper called behind me. I turned around and watched his gaze flow over me from head to toe. _Distract with your body and kill with your mind. The beautiful art of being a woman: mystery, always keep your dignity intact. _I smiled at him and made sure he noticed that _I _noticed the dark circles under his matching eyes. "You seem thirsty Jasper…" I let a little blood escape my mouth as I closed a little on him. He didn't move but he seemed very aware. "Like you haven't tasted blood in days, maybe weeks, am I right?" I heard him gulp; the smell of my blood was already circling him so I let it all flow from my lip and drip down.

I took a couple fast paced steps that placed me next to him within a second. With a sharp rock I had picked up from the little rumble I had with Jacob, I tore through the flesh of my inner thigh. The blood began to gush out as I whispered very close into his ear, so much that a small curl on the side of his face faintly brushed against my nose. "I can help you calm that thirst…"

His overwhelmingly reeking stench wasn't going to distract me, I was going to tease him so much that he would try and get my blood. Since I would _tease_ him, I was bound to get in a couple of good hour lasting bruises or maybe worse. I moved even closer, this time wondering when he would crack, my smell wasn't working to my favor but my blood and his thirst were. I slid my unharmed thigh between his legs and my lips to his nose, taunting him between his own lips also. I felt him tremble with anxiety, _great he wanted me_, for my blood or my body, maybe both. Either way my plan was working.

He threw himself onto me and we were both on the floor, that's when I started pushing him back and defending myself just enough to keep him interested. But, this made him more anxious until I felt like he actually started posing as a threat to me. We rolled all over the place and finally got up to our feet separating ourselves from the close proximity we were in. I laughed mockingly at him, this was kind of amusing, "Come on Jasper you can do better than that. I'm only a stride's distance away".

He face turned to an expression that looked kind of ticked, like he wasn't playing any games. He crouched down and started running towards me. Then, out of nowhere a figure came from out of the trees tumbling me out of the way.

"Jasper control!" He shouted. _Jacob._ Of course how could I forget? Jasper stopped, stunned, it looked like Jacobs voice had snapped him out of some sort of hypnotic state. The other big one was out too, Emmet, _great. _It seemed like Jacob and Seth, _Seth? Ah, him too, _were trying to reason with Jasper and find out what had happened. He led him back to his house like he was some sort of victim. _Well, I guess you could say he was._ But not entirely so much that he needed comforting. Pfft, pathetic losers.

I composed myself, got up and started walking away. _Stupid Jacob_ he ruined my plan! It started raining as I made my way to the road and felt a hand grasp my arm. "Hey watch it!" I said as I looked back. Just as I expected Jacob was here to shower me with a sermon on what I had done. "Are you f***ing insane Leah? You could have gotten yourself killed." I crossed my arms across my chest and rolled my eyes, "Oh please! I know that, which was the point, smart." He made a face and look at me, "Look I know it's gotta be tough on you but, this isn't the way to handle it!"

"Ha! No you don't know!" I cut him off but then he cut me off too. "Listen, my mom she, she died in a car accident too…"

"You don't even remember her! How much could it have hurt you?" I screamed in his face perhaps too harshly but, he had me heated! I saw the clear pain my remark brought to his face, "I'm taking you home!" He said as he grabbed my arm once more and pulled me towards his car. I uselessly tried to pull away from his grasp until he shoved me into the passenger seat. He was in the driver's seat within seconds.

"Seatbelt." He said as he buckled his own.

"You know you ruined my plan Black! Thanks for your help, but it wasn't needed."

"God you're stupid as hell Clearwater. Remind me _not_ to care next time."

"Care!" I said with a disgusted face, he said it like I was the bad person here.

"Yes care!"

"You have no idea what this is like!"

"Damn, I don't know how I can be attracted to you! I would want anyone, _but_ you."

"Really? That's just fine, I feel the same way!"

"Leah what's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me?"

"Yes! You're so strong, what's the matter?"

"What's the matter!" See, everyone thought I was strong and maybe I was but, not at this exact moment.

"Don't you get it, you don't understand!" I said with tears welling up in my eyes, shit the waterworks were inevitable now.

"How do you know that? When I tried to explain when you made some stupid assumptions about my feelings!"

"Whatever, You see. This is exactly why it'd be better for me to just die!"

"No you don't Leah, I understand you didn-"

"NO! " I started losing it, he was stubborn and I was a stupid b****, "My mom's going to die and I might as well too!"

"Wha—'' Before he could answer my question I grabbed a hold of the wheel, "Stop what are you doing?"

"Making sure I die!" I said and with all my might placed _my _foot on the accelerator and steered the wheel driving the car off a cliff and into the ocean.

It wasn't long before water came in the car from all sides; the pressure of the water was beginning to make itself present on my body. I kept my foot on the gas pedal hoping it would thrust us deeper into the water. We could hold our breaths, _but not forever_. We could resist the increasing water pressure, _but not forever_. As the seconds passed we submerged deeper and deeper into the abyss.

I saw Jacob try to undo the belt buckle brace he had on without much success, his hands were moving too fast. He calmed himself down and this time was successful at his task. He looked at me in the eyes; I just saw his shaggy hair move briskly with the flush of water and movement around him. His hand was on my belt buckle and in that instant my own hand was atop of his. I shook my head and looked down. His hand then moved to my chin, his eyes seemed to sparkled. The look on his face was melancholy, I'm not sure if it was for me.

He slightly shifted out of his seat trying to open the door; while we had been fighting I locked the doors. He couldn't get it to open, he pushed it and tried to break the window but the water pressure was greatly, and rapidly increasing. If our breath didn't give out the water would be crushing us soon. I prayed in my head that he could get himself out of here. He didn't have to pay for my pain.

_Shift! _I thought in my head. I heard that when you're in crisis, panicking, you don't think straight. I wonder if he had thought of that yet or if he had but thought that he would hurt me because the car was small. I would tell him to do it anyways, that I would heal, maybe not right away but that didn't matter. If he shifted he could surely break through at least the glass.

I nodded at him hoping he would the hint, thankfully he did. He took off his shorts but left his underwear on. _Smart_. He started trembling and then he became the mighty alpha, son of Ephraim Black. His transformation was enough to break the glass window above the dasher. Then, he shifted back to a human after about a minute. I didn't notice him change back into the shorts because I felt the pressure becoming uncomfortable and my lungs started showing signs of wanting air. We had been descending down for about 5 or 6 minutes. Everything seemed to be going at a much slower pace than it had been.

Jacob tried to mutedly reason with me again but I wouldn't budge. I saw in his face that the pressure and need for air were affecting him too now. I thought of my mother then, of everything that was happening. Of the _love_ I felt for Jacob and that even if we fought like hell we still ended up finding our way back to one another. And him telling me that he wanted anyone but me was common, he told me that a lot but, much more often he came back to my door. It always meant he was sorry and that he took back what he said.

My lungs were searing with ache now, the pressure on my body started to actually hurt. It wasn't fair for Jacob to have to be trapped her by my stubbornness. After all it was only 5 years, I could manage, _I think_. I knew Jacob wouldn't let me down anyhow.

I took off my seatbelt with urgency now, I needed air and I needed to get this weight off. With both of my hands I indicated to him that he should go, I threw my arms rapidly toward the open space trying to convey an image of me screaming 'go! I'll be right behind you.' He cocked his head slightly to the left and I forced a little smile while with my head pointed to the exit. He smiled back at me and turned around to swim to the surface.

As soon as he turned my face winced with pain, I had to get out of here and I had to do it now. I grabbed on to the side of the seat as support to push myself up. I started floating a bit to the top but then I was yanked back. A piece of my shorts were caught on one of the pointed edges of the broken window. I tried to pull free again but my strength was failing me, with every second the car dove deeper and deeper into the water.

My eyesight began to get blurry; my insides were on fire now. I prepared to try once more to swim to the top but just then, I started swallowing mouthfuls of water. I started kicking with the power I had left; water came out of my nose in form of bubbles but in my mouth by the gallons. I saw the strands of my hair sway in the water in front of me with my berserk movements. I consoled myself with the thought that I was getting what I _thought_ I wanted, and Jacob was probably getting to the top by now.

My brain started shutting down as I tried to grasp onto the ledge of anything I could in my mind. It was then that it looked like a small glowing fish was making its way closer to me, and it was then that I wondered if this was how it would all end. That moment was also then, when I wondered if I was even still alive…

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**AN:** There you go! **REVIEW** if you want to me to continue!

Any questions or concerns ASK, I'll answer. Tell me what you think and what you liked! Oh and sorry for typos and all that stuff hehe. Muwah bye!

P.S. ; Jake and Leah fit the song "My Life Would Suck Without You" by Kelly Clarkson.


	5. White Daisy Passing

AN: Wow! Thank you sooooo much for the amazing reviews and compliments (: They mean so much to me! Anyways don't forget **to review for this chapter also**.

The title of this chapter is in tribute to a song I just fell in love with by the same name, it inspired the one of the most prominent and strong spiritual scenes for me. I hope you enjoy it and can make the connection. FYI: White Daisy Passing is by Rocky Votolato.

Follow me on Twitter: AnaVeeeH

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_Leah's POV:_

_My eyesight began to get blurry; my insides were on fire now. I prepared to try once more to swim to the top but just then, I started swallowing mouthfuls of water. I started kicking with the power I had left; water came out of my nose in form of bubbles but in my mouth by the gallons. I saw the strands of my hair sway in the water in front of me with my berserk movements. I consoled myself with the thought that I was getting what I __thought__ I wanted, and Jacob was probably getting to the top by now._

_My brain started shutting down as I tried to grasp onto the ledge of anything I could in my mind. It was then that it looked like a small glowing fish was making its way closer to me, and it was then that I wondered if this was how it would all end. That moment was also then, when I wondered if I was even still alive…_

**Jacob's POV:**

I pushed the water out of the way with my hands allowing my body to finally break through to the surface. The water pressure and need for air was immediately eluded from my mind and it felt hella good. It also felt really good to know that things were going to be ok because, they could have been much, much worse.

I scanned the water overlooking the high rising waves (caused by the weather) looking for Leah. _W__here was she?_ I was positive she was coming right up behind me, unless, _no. No! She lied to me. _How could I be so stupid? As I made my assumptions I got this funny feeling of anxiety. _No._ She couldn't have. What in the world was I going to do now?

It seemed as if so long ago I couldn't have cared less if a bloodsucker tore her apart limb by limb. It wasn't my concern if she lived or died but now, now it was absolutely and utterly the opposite. I couldn't even bear the thought of her being gone. _I loved her_. I loved her and no matter what, I would hold onto that feeling forever as long as it was possible.

Giving up on her was not an option. Giving up on our love? _I didn't know._

"Jacob!" I looked up to the sound of my name and saw a weary little kid call from up above the cliff. It looked like and _sounded_ like Seth. "Jake, what happened? Where's Leah?"

I didn't know. How freakin' pathetic. I just looked around like an idiot, mumbling sh*t as I kept searching the waters. Then, in a flash I saw Seth dive into the water with a near perfect strike. I returned my attention to where it should have been and got my head back into the game. I headed back into the dark shadowy depths before me. I tried to look for the car without much success. _Must be lower down._ I pushed more and more water from in front of me making it easier for my body to glide through the currents and swim lower.

Even when the heaviness felt like it was crushing against my bones, I kept going. Sure enough, not long after the car began to make itself visible, it looked like a ghost creeping out of the darkness. I swam quicker and quicker, somewhere in that commotion I felt Seth's presence behind me. I didn't pay much attention to him; there were other things on my mind. _Leah. My Lee-Bear._

I was so close now, when I got to the car I impatiently lunged myself in one final time holding onto the rigid edges where I had broken the glass.

_Nothing!_

The shit was empty! She was _gone._

But how? How was it possible? Did she really want to get away from me that badly? She could have spit on my heart and crushed it with her foot, and that would have been a delicacy. But not even a goodbye—or maybe… she let herself sink to the bottom? Had she died? No. No. I would NEVER, EVER forgive myself if that was the case.

As I took a walk I noticed how I never noticed that the pebbles on the floor ceased to hurt me anymore, I never noticed how the cool earth beneath me felt so strangely relaxing, and I never noticed how much I _missed_ Leah. But, now I noticed all that and as the awkward silence seemed to fill the space between me and Seth, I mused it.

"I saw tire marks up there, leading off the cliff. What happened?" He asked me with a hint of curiosity and other emotions I couldn't make out. I knew he would be persistent about it so I just decided to sum it up and tell him.

"We were arguing and uh, well she got all worked up, then before I knew it, water was rushing in from all sides of the car." He stopped right when I finished the last word of my sentence. He turned to face me, "She's fine, she always is. Leah's strong, maybe stronger than she knows, but we know how strong she." Did he believe his own words? I know I wanted to believe them but I wasn't certain.

He smiled at me and shaking off the water from his shaggy hair as we continued to walk over to the Cullen's house. I followed him apathetically still trying to accept his words as true. Before I really got the chance to notice, we were already inside the house. The smell of a mix of passion fruit, mango, and another sweet essence danced around me and inflated my lungs. It was Leah, my _rebellious_ angel. She was here. As I traced back my thoughts it clicked. For Leah to be here, something must have been terribly wrong. I mean she wouldn't be here willingly, _crap_ this couldn't be good.

Carlisle and the whole coven were seated in the living room with one notable presence absent. Renesmee.

"Jacob!" Bella hugged me out of nowhere, I didn't really have the mind to react so I think I just stood there in her embrace.

"Nauhl is in Renesmee's room, she's being hospitable." Edward answered my thoughts which questioned her absence. He still did that and it stilled annoyed me but, whatever I wasn't much in the mood to bicker with him.

"Nauhl has been here an awful lot." That was a statement that I did have to say outloud. I didn't know if I liked that fact or not. What I didn't like was the fact that I wasn't with Ness a lot, it killed me a little.

Bella let go of me looking a little awkward and embarrassed as if she would have blushed if she could.

"Leah's here isn't she? I can smell her. She's alright, isn't she?"

**Leah's POV;**

_Where my eyes open? _I questioned myself internally because, there was nothing. Nothing but pitch black darkness. I mean, I felt awake but I touched my hair, my arms, and my body to make sure I was all together and here, wherever here was. I heard my heavy breaths, "Hello!" I yelled, but the noise that came from my mouth seemed so minute compared to this space of darkness I was consumed in. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration, _where was I?_

I felt around the perimeter of my body, there was nothing but air, black dark air. It seemed as if there was a permanent blindfold on my face that I couldn't peek under or take off. I was deeply aggravated by my lack of control over the situation. I decided to run because like always, I would be _hopefully_ dashing my way out of this one.

I don't know for how long I was running but, it didn't seem to be getting me anywhere. I stopped and tried to scream again. I was enclosed in never ending obscurity. I put my hands on my face and shut my eyes tight at the irritation of feeling lost.

I removed my hands from my face and slowly opened my eyes hoping to find something, besides nothing. Astonishingly I did find something, a small miniature hole in this abyss that shone through with a godly white light. _Don't go towards the light_. That was always the story, the thing people would tell those who were on the border edge of death. But at this precise instant it seemed like that was my only reasonable option.

From the opposite direction there was a voice, not just any voice, it was _his_ voice. _Jacob_.

"Come on Leah! You can't do this to me, pull through!"

_What? _What was he talking about? I didn't know or really cared about what the exact meaning of his words were. They seemed distant with an echo like affect on every other fifth word. Away from the light, I ran in the direction towards his voice hoping that I would run into his embrace.

"Leah! Come on! Listen to me Lee-Bear you have to get your heart beating again. Make it beat again for me."

His words confused me even more.

Suddenly, I stopped as I felt a circuit of energy being plunged through my chest. My whole body collapsed and only my chest rose with the force that tugged and pulled at the same time. I closed my eyes tightly as they tried to open wincing at the same time with pain. I took a sharp inhaled breath and for the first time I sounded loud and clear. The pain left for 3 seconds then, I felt compressing hands against my stomach followed by the bolt of electricity that ripped through my body once more.

I shot up as if I had awakened from a nightmare, there was no black anymore. In this new mysterious place I found myself in, there was the opposite of consuming anonymity in obscurity. Everything was so bright here; it looked like a paradise garden with a familiar white ghostly god like glow that surrounded everything. I was sitting on perfectly green pasture surrounded by a variety of vegetation and flora. It was like a secret past world that only existed in heaven, myth, and legends.

I looked over my right shoulder to see how far the plains of this strange majestic place stretched. I felt as if I were in a passing moment that was gone somehow. My deep thoughts were interrupted when I was startled by a sudden balmy feeling come over my left hand. Keeping my gaze fixed on the floor I slowly turned my head to where my hand laid on the grass. There was another hand atop of mine; keeping my eyes on our hands I noticed its familiarity. It was coarse from hard work but, gentle at the same time. With hesitance I traced the hand to the wrist to the arm to the shoulder finally making my way up to the face.

The familiar eyes and familiar smile caused a smile of my own to spread across my face.

"Jake, where are we?"

He was balanced on one knee and one foot remaining speechless just admiring me like he was as surprised as I was to have found me. His hand swiftly moved underneath mine and he took it near his lips before smiling again and kissing the top of it, just like a Casanova would in those cheesy ass movies. Not that there was anything wrong with it but, of course I would never admit to him that I liked all that corny stuff.

"Jacob? Really, where are we?" I was going to tell him I was confused but that would make me seem stupid and clueless. He still didn't answer me which was starting to tick me off. Before I could start going all bi*chy on him, he pushed himself up and put out his two hands offering to help me get up. Naturally, I would have helped myself up but right now it was like whatever. I took his hands and he pulled on me slightly, but enough that I almost slammed into him. As our faces where about one centimeter apart the temptation to kiss him began to overtake my body, we looked into each other's eyes solemnly. I looked down breaking the intense gaze hoping that it would go away, luckily for me he withdrew himself and let go of one of my hands. Still holding onto my other hand he pulled me towards an entity of the unknown beautiful scenery. We passed by so many beautiful flowers and roses that were hardly visible in the blur of our speed. The flowers I was able to make out were white daisies, so bright, brilliant, and sweet as they sway behind us.

"Where are we going?" It was still an unanswered question that was really beginning to peeve me beyond my personal control. "Can you please slow it down?" He completely ignored me. Alright, he was going to tell me what the hell was going on and he was going to tell me now. "Jacob Black, where are you taking me- ". My voice died out at the last word of my demanding question. He finally dropped my hand as we came to an abrupt stop; we were in a place that didn't look any different from where we had started.

That, of course, was not what had made me shut my mouth, it was another presence. From the glow of the trees a ghostly figure emerged followed by the same glow walked towards me. I began to walk towards it, it was my dad.

(Quileute:) "Daughter"

(Quileute:) "Father!" I ran over to him and hugged him by the waist, strong and tight. I buried my face in his chest and felt his hold equally as strong. "Mama misses you papa."

"I know, I can hear her from where I am."

"Come back." I pleaded him feeling the tears begin to build within my eyes and the sobs begin to build in my chest.

"It's too late for me. But not for you Leah."

Me?

"You can't leave your mother or brother; you have to protect them for me."

A single tear came down my cheek slowly, "What if I can't?" I asked looking up to him, not wanting to let go. Who knew how much longer I would get to hold him again for the last time. "You can. I know it; I'll be watching you all. I love you, Leah." He kissed my forehead and wiped my tear. "But now I need you to open your eyes. Just open your beautiful brown eyes."

"What?" I asked as I noticed that he was beginning to disappear. He was dissolving like crumbling sand until I was holding onto nothing but air. I felt Jacob's hand on my shoulder; I had nearly forgotten he was here. This time he spoke:

"Open your eyes."

_What? What the hell where these people talking about? My eyes were open._ I fluttered my eyelashes in confusion. His voice started having that double echo effect to it again. He began to close in the space between us until there was none at all. "Open your eyes, baby.", he said lightly as he placed one hand on the crook of my neck and the other on my cheek, caressing it as he slightly tilted his head. Everything seemed to stop and slow down, from the passing of a butterfly to the wind that lightly blew my hair. And, in the same pace as my world, I closed my eyes. His lips gently touched mine before they sealed securely on each other. Then, as they parted and our foreheads were pressed together, I finally understood what they had meant and I opened my eyes.

_Beep, beep, beep, beep. The opening of my eyes revealed bright vibrant light that refocused into reality. _I was lying in a hospital bed with tubes up my nose and wires in my arms. Everything was white, from the walls to the sheets. The only thing not white was me and … Jacob. He was in close proximity, not far from my face. Talk about personal bubble popping, not that I was complaining or anything.

I can't say the feeling in my throat or the ache of my bones and muscles was so great but, I'd seen worse pain. Other things swarmed my mind like: how much of what was reality and had that kiss between us really happened?

"Hey Lee-Bear." He retracted back into the white cushioned chair beside the bed. I couldn't find my voice to speak so I just looked at him. I couldn't even find my muscles to fake a smile either. "You know you freaken' scared the hell out of me."

Ah. Found it. "Don't be such a whinny baby Jake." I said as I reclined further in the bed to position myself into a more comfortable position. I closed my eyes and inhaled a deep breath before slightly opening one eye to check on his reaction. Yup, Jake was tough alright, not easily broken by mild comments. We both knew inside that being mean and annoying each other was our specialty, like second nature.

"You said my name." He said it as if I was supposed to retaliate to that, I didn't know why. I fully opened both eyes now, "What are you talking about?"

"You said my name, that's the first word that you said. 'Jacob'. You know, they say that when an unconscious person speaks the name of someone as their first words, it's who they really want to see. Above all others." He kissed the top of my hand like I remembered he had previously in the strange, I don't know what to call it, vision? Dream? Insane moment?

"Don't flatter yourself." I said as I raised an eyebrow and smiled at him. "Ah, there goes that smile I love." He exclaimed. Then in a notably more serious tone he continued, "I was really … uh, afraid I guess, to never be able to see it again."

I bit and pursed my lips. "Do you remember what happened from the last time I saw you, to now?" I looked out to the detail of the outside woods that were visible through the sheer white curtains. Awkwardly I set my hand free from his; close contact was really not a good idea for us. I brought both my hands up to the temples on my forehead in an effort to remember.

It all started coming back to me like unclear flashbacks; it was sort of like an old crappy film about to begin. There was water, lots of it. There was also that light that was coming toward me, but this time I saw a figure that overshadowed the light. The shadow came closer to me, it was a person but I couldn't make out the face. Ugh, shit. I pounded the mattress in frustration.

"Hey, hey it's ok if you don't remember. There's time."

Time? Screw that I wanted to know. I tried to focus harder, the face, the face, the face, it was… um, it was, it was, it was… Sam! Sam, it was him. "Sam!" I said in disbelief, how was it possible? Sam wasn't even there, was he?

"But how?" I asked shaking my head trying to decipher this uncertain ambiguity that tampered with my brain.

"Carlisle said he saw the car go off the cliff. He went over to see what had happened or who it was. There I guess he found you and brought you over."

I would have to thank Sam for that, he saved my life. I repulsively despised the idea that I would forever be in his debt but then again _he_ owed me so much more.

"I'm sorry." Jacob said breaking the pondering silence.

"For what?" I asked making a face not comprehending.

"For not being the one who saved you." He said as he hung his head and looked at the floor. Hesitant at first I reached for his hand hoping to offer some reassurance to what I was about to say.

"Jake, you have saved me, from … so much more emotionally and spiritually. Without you, I think that I would have been gone long before."

He looked up and smiled that flawless side smirk at me like only he could. I exhaled deeply and smiled back at him. I almost wanted to cry at the thought of the future with or without him.

_It's been two months since the incident, everything has been slowly returning to normal. Jacob visits Renesmee regularly again. The outside world doesn't really know of the existence of that child. When people spot her, which is rare, she's another one of Edward's "nieces, friend's daughter, godchild, whatever". Jacob's her amusement and her soon to be love. He says that he still doesn't feel anything romantic for the vampire child and I tell him that soon he will. He does get jealous of Nauhl and the frequency of his visits though. I know because he tells me everything, and what he doesn't, I can tell. Him and I are like best friends who are trapped in forbidden love, in the entity of the words. _

_The attraction and appeal was still very presently there but, we did our best to avoid it. Generally we were pretty good at it. When we were in wolf form we avoided any thoughts about it and when one of us would slip, the other would ignore it. There was only one particular moment when we kind of sucked. I remember Jacob practically pleaded me for us to be together even if it was just a while. I nearly smacked his jaw off, I was very offended. I told him that I was not that kind of girl and if he thought I was, then this was all very wrong. He then of course apologized and said that "it's just so frustrating Leah, I don't know what to do or say anymore. This is torture, like worse than seeing Paul and Rachel make out!" After that incident nothing like it ever happened again, or should I say yet._

_Me? I've started to pursue a modeling career, often heading out to major cities nearby to broaden my portfolio. In fact, I just got offered a big contract to model the runway and be featured in print ads for this really big fashion designer. The thing was, it was far, very far somewhere in Paris, Milan I think. No one really knew about it but I was planning to tell Jacob soon._

"So we're gonna go fishing in a few right? Too bad Seth has the stomach flu." Jacob stated more than questioned.

"Haha, you mean thankfully.", I said jokingly looking at Seth who was lying in the couch looking like a dead fly. "Ouch, that hurt Leah." He said in an apathetic tone. "Haha, you guys go and bring me back some fish!" Seth said using up the only energy he seemed to have.

"You'll be ok 'till then?" I asked him.

"Yeah, sure man. Just go! If there's an emergency there are plenty of people nearby."

"Alright then. Later kiddo." I said as I flung a backpack full of stuff onto my shoulder.

Jacob shook Seth's hair like he was praising a dog, which actually he was. "Haha, bye."

"See ya!" Seth said as we closed the door.

I looked at the steps beneath me as I rapidly descended them, " Seth's a good kid." Jacob said when I got next to him.

"Oh yeah, one of the best little munchkin brothers." I admitted.

"But don't tell him I said that. We wouldn't want him to get cocky now would we?" I said as I took the lead on the road to the dock.

"Oh no, definitely not." He agreed with me as he laughed.

"Did you bring the map?" He asked

"Oh shit, no I forgot it." I grunted at my forgetfulness.

"Don't worry we won't need it, we got sense of direction."

"Ha ha, some sense it'll be when we got lost… Did you check the weather?"

"Uh, well now we're even."

I saw our little small fishing boat in sight and shook my head in disapproval. "Looks like it's gonna rain hard."

"Please Leah, it always looks like it's gonna rain." He placed the fishing poles in and took the bag off my shoulder as he got in himself.

"Hmm, true." He offered his hand to help me get in, I took it. I'm pretty sure he knew how strong I was by now.

He started up the boat and I just sat down quietly thinking to myself. I would have never agreed to come and be alone with Jacob because it would just make things more difficult. But I had to tell him about the modeling thing, about me leaving for a good while. I didn't really know how I was going to start but it had to be said. I didn't have the slightest clue as to how he was going to react but I guess I was about to find out.

Our fishing boat was small and compact with a little room, you could say, where the steering wheel was in. Jacob went in it and drove us out into the ocean pretty far, hoping we would catch something big. When we came to a stop we launched the wire of the fishing pole out as far as would seem reasonable. The thing about fishing was really in what you would do while you waited for a bite. Now there was not much to do but linger.

I grabbed a sandwich out of the backpack and offered one to Jacob; _of course he would take it._

"Thanks."

"Aha. So uh how's everything in Dracula land over there?"

He chuckled a little before answering, "It's alright I guess, they'll have to be leaving soon." He took a mouthful and looked away as he said the last word.

"Really? Why?"

"Well considering they're ageless, it's starting to be oddly noticeable. Not so much for Bells—ella or Edward but, more for Carlisle and Esme." He knew that any affectionate terms used towards _them_ would sure make my stomach churn.

"Well he _is_ a doctor, so many of us would just assume they've had their good share of uh, Botox."

"Yeah, well Botox only goes so far. I mean, I guess, that's what's kept 'em here all these years."

"Oh. That sucks." I sipped some water casually, showing that I was indifferent to their departure. But ,I nearly choked on my drink when Jacob asked about my modeling thing.

"So how's your modeling thing going?"

Time to confront the situation. Pfft, why was I worrying, _grow up Leah._ "Uhm, oh that. It's eh really going great for me. I actually got a really good offer."

"Oh yeah? What's it about?" He seemed so casual. Damn him and his relaxed attitude.

"It's this really huge designing company that offered me a nice contract for billboard, magazine, print ads and full runway shows."

"Wow, hey Lee-Bear that's great!" Why did people have to give me such nicknames and then use them against me?

"Yeah haha it is. It's also in one of the most important fashion cities." I was hoping he'd get the hint and acknowledge that LaPush wasn't exactly where all the models and stylish people came from.

"It's in Paris … France.", I blurted out.

"Paris? Isn't that like across the ocean, miles and miles away?"

"Well you sure know your geography, I'll give you that much."

There was a pause and an eerie feeling in the atmosphere, silence and thoughtfulness. I felt a rain drop come down my face. I looked up to the cloudy gray sky and saw the multitude of rain drops that were preceding it. The rain began to fall down, heavier with each drop, I loved the rain and after this I only loved it more.

"The food!" I yelled as the remaining fruit and sandwiches were starting to get soaked. We reacted pretty quickly and ran to the small shelter room thing. Through the window I saw lightning followed by a thunder strike. It looked like a storm was brewing, a big one. Damn it, he should have checked the weather.

We rushed everything, including ourselves, into the small covered area of the boat. I shut the door quickly and Jacob went straight to the steering wheel. In that whole minute and a half the rain got heavier so much to the extent where things were starting to be hardly visible. I could feel the waves beginning to excessively rock the seemingly small boat.

"Jacob, get us back home." He was trying to accelerate the boat in the opposite direction of the current because that's where home was. Unfortunately nature was pushing us away with every second.

"I'm trying! But this doesn't seem to be going anywhere."

I sighed and plopped down onto the floor, the space was very limited, especially for our type of build.

"Maybe we should wait out the storm and hope that it's over soon."

"So that we can get pushed out further away from land?"

"Well what else can we do? We're screwed anyway."

"Ugh!" I looked out the glass again, you have got to love the weather here, one minute it'll be clear and the next you're caught up in a monstrous storm.

"What if we hit something?"

Jacob took one good look out the window before sliding down the wall and sitting across from me.

"Doesn't look like there's anything much but water out, not for miles."

"God this cannot be happening. There's not even a boat in sight. Maybe _they_ checked the weather forecast today." I raised my eyebrows to mark the importance of my last few words. I got up and opened the door. Immediately the wind rammed all the rain in my face and fluttered my hair everywhere. The boat was very unsteady so I had to hold onto the edge in order to maintain my balance.

I squinted as I tried to look out at our surrounding habitat and just as Jacob said there was nothing.

"Leah! Get in here, you'll go overboard!"

I looked back and Jacob was coming toward me, my hair whipped my face and got caught in my mouth impeding me from trying to protest. Before I knew it he was beside me tugging at my arm.

"You. Could. Fall. Overboard!"

"No! Leave me!" I pulled my arm free and turned to face away from him crossing my arms like a spoiled brat. But after all, if he would have checked the weather we wouldn't be in this mess.

I felt his warm arms begin to encase my waist. "Hey! What are you-" At the same time I tried to pull away a big wave hit the small boat and we both fell into the water. I was absolutely not ready for that, as soon as I could I came up for air.

"Jacob!" He came out from what seemed to be an endless mass of blue. "Leah! Are you ok?"

Thank god he was still here, safe. "You idiot! You see what you did?"

"The boat!" It was shifting away. We tried to swim over to it, or what was left of it, as quickly as we could. We barely managed to climb into it. "It's not safe here." Jacob yelled over the sound of the gushing waves.

"Neither is being in there." I pointed at the water.

The boat rocked ferociously again and again, it could have seemed like hours and hours had gone by but in reality only a couple did. My phone was dead and Jacob's had no reception, great coverage my ass.

"Look! There! It looks like land!" I pointed out the window excitedly like when a child see's a teddy bear they want to buy. It was quite embarrassing afterward but at the moment I wanted to be put out of the situation. "The current is taking us there! Let's just hope it doesn't change courses."

Breaking what seemed like bad luck the current stayed on track and propelled us closer to safety. Or so we thought.

"It's just an enormous rock." Jacob pointed out flatly. I banged my head against the window in distraught. The boat got closer to the "rock" and my disappointment grew. I kept my forehead glued to the window as I watched the land mass go by.

"Wait! Look on the other side! It's like a, a cave!"

Jacob examined in response to my remark, "Yeah, a sea cave." He whispered.

"That'll do, it'll do fine for now." He approved.

Hastily we gathered what we could and this time we threw ourselves into the water. Getting to the other side of the rock was the hard part but we made it. As soon as I was near I laid down on the mild rock floor breathing heavily starring at the awkwardly shaped ceiling. Jacob shook his hair out and threw himself onto the floor next to me. His shoulder touched mine sending a thriving warm feeling that transmitted ardently down my spine.

Instead of admiring my surroundings I thought of the stupid situation I had just put myself into. I was stranded, the gods know where, with Jacob, alone, for who knows how long…

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AN: And there you go! Sorry for the delay(: I hope you guys liked it! Remember to **REVIEW if you want the next chapter!** Remember to check out the site and follow me on twitter!

Much Love!

-Ana.


	6. The Blue Lagoon

AN: I really love where my story is going so for those of you who enjoy the story and want to keep reading. This is for you!

I apologize for the long lag in updating, I've been extremely busy in school and with my Blackwater Lovers website, anyways please **review** if you'd be so kind!

So I spent A LOT, and I mean a lot of time researching for the setting of this chapter, hope you guys enjoy it. Thanks so much for reading and review if you'd like.

**IMPORTANT: **I think I may start writing some sections of the chapters in a third person point of view(:

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_Leah's POV; _

_Jacob shook his hair out and threw himself onto the floor next to me. His shoulder touched mine sending a thriving warm feeling that transmitted ardently down my spine._

_Instead of admiring my surroundings I thought of the stupid situation I had just put myself into. I was stranded, the gods know where, with Jacob, alone, for who knows how long…_

**Leah's POV;**

I turned over to my side and felt around the floor for Jacob but all I found was emptiness. I thrust my eyes open expecting to find hard concrete, wet moss, and water. Yet, to my surprise none of those elements were around me. I rubbed my eyes trying to vanish the confusion, wanting to find something else when my eyes opened once again. I sat up and realized that it had all been a dream, well part of it. Uncannily I had been asleep aboard the fishing boat, which I noticed, was not moving like it was during the storm.

I got up completely and peaked through the crease in the partially opened door, it looked like the sun was going to begin setting soon. I noticed that skies now looked clearer than they had been in a long time.

"Jacob?" I yelled and finally made it out to the deck, "where are-"

I paused mid sentence and realized the boat was on shore, but not the shore at LaPush. This foreign place was so much more different than anything I had ever seen, something I could only imagine. The sand was much softer and tinted a lighter shade of tan, almost white. The water was also unusual, crystalline with a blue essence that rippled with every wave. In reality it was actually quite beautiful, I wondered if I was dreaming again but the feeling was different, this seemed more real in a non-realistic way. _Difficult to explain._

It looked like we were on a tropical island, uninhabited and unclaimed, maybe not yet discovered. 'Must be a new island, or one that the government only visits every two years for their experimental concoctions. I felt a knack to explore and see more of this paradisiacal scenery. I was pretty shocked and kind of dumbed down by the complex and intricate work of nature. Not many people knew but I really loved nature, I appreciated the beauty and detested the humans who were abominating it completely. I can't say I'm completely innocent of the crime but I do care more than most.

I jumped off the deck onto the pleasantly warm sand. I mean I loved the rain and the cold but the heat was nice, especially when an amazing beach accompanied it. I bent over and picked up a pile of sand examining its texture between my fingers and palm. Then, I let it escape my hands loosely crumbling down back to the earth. The wind carried some of the grains letting them sprinkled down lightly. I walked over to the mildly crashing waves, letting the water reach my calves. I dipped the tip of my fingers into the water and seriously considered diving into the water but _his_ voice startled me.

"Leah?"

**Jacob's POV;**

The wind carried her hair as she turned, picking up every strand gracefully and waving it perfectly so that it framed her face delicately. She smiled as our eyes met.

"Jake!"

I think I may have starred a bit too long.

"Earth to Jacob?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, um.."

She looked around before asking, "Where are we?" then she started playing with the water again.

"I don't know really, I missed the Welcome sign."

"Ha ha." She stuck out her tongue playfully at me then returned most of her attention to the water. She took a seat where a wave skirted out towards land and the white foam came up to her waist then, retreated back into the ocean.

"Well it seems to me like an island, an uninhabited one. There are about two other islands around all the same except in elements, but since it looks like we're going to be here for a while, this one seemed more accommodating."

"A while?" She asked with clear disappointment in her voice.

Yeah, it was going to be a while. The boat motor was broken, and through ALL means possible I tried to rescue us from being in this situation. It was completely useless; there was nothing but water and more water. There was nothing more I could think of, nothing that I hadn't tried already. And I was particularly peeved at the fact that I wasn't going to be in contact with Renesmee. She was the only thing on my mind when I tried to find an exit to this place. I wouldn't tell Leah this though, I know it would have hurt her, but Nessie was my imprint and I at least needed to know she was safe.

"Trust me, I tried EVERYTHING. There's no escaping." Short and to the point. I wasn't technically lying to her; I was just leaving a bit of information out. "I explored around here while you were knocked out."

"How long was I out?"

"A while, I almost thought you passed out but, then you snored." She threw some water at me haha, score.

"It's actually quite nice around here. Kind of like paradise." I said.

"That's not possible though, because you're here." What a tease, just like her to retaliate with an equally sarcastic remark.

"Well then, consider this the Garden of Eden and you can call me the evil snake." Karma is a b!t*h, especially sweet when you help it make its rounds.

"Ugh!" She rolled her eyes and grunted as she inclined down and lay on her back.

"Woah, hey watch out!" I yelled at her.

"What?" A wave came over her making her immediately get up and cough out water. I was going to go help her out, but she looked at me like it was my fault. I guess the laughing didn't help much but, it's not like I meant any harm to her. I would never allow harm to come to her.

"Hey, don't laugh!" She hit the sandy floor and then shot up and chased me around the shore; however I turned the tables around when I started running after her. Laughter filled the air around us, water splashed from one point to another. Somehow she ended up under me; it became a serious moment when the only noise was the sound of the crashing waves against the sand and lightly against our bodies. The resonance was actually a calming serenade that fit perfectly as our eyes locked.

The moment became intense and sort of awkward. We both sensed it but it was Leah who decided to diffuse the situation with the chime of her laughter.

" Haha, so? Are you gonna' show me around or what?" She slipped out from under me swiftly and trying to act as prudent as possible, I got up after her.

"Yup." I pulled out a butterfly knife from my pocket and spun it open.

"Oh look at Jake, he's playing with big boy toys. Aren't you explorer people supposed to have like machetes."

"Sorry, didn't really come in my 'explorer' kit." I said trying to put a hint of mockery and playfulness in my tone. "I cut a pathway to the center of the island." I pointed to two arched palm trees that looked like pillars at a doorway.

"Oh, well what's in the center?" She asked as she folded her arms across her chest.

"A sort of more exclusive lagoon." I answered coolly and offered her my hand so that I could lead her.

"Thanks but no thanks. I can walk." Slightly scrunching her nose at the end of every sentence.

"Oh come on Lee-Bear. Let your guard down, I'll protect you. I promise you that." She looked into my eyes with a serious and doubtful gaze. I intended for my equally intense look to assure her that her trust in me would not go astray. It worked. I saw that sweet vulnerability, that Leah that was susceptible and delicate, yet tough to the core.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she raised her hand and placed it within mine. I lead her through a sketchy pathway. Around us, life was abundant and eminent. Wild and exotic green plants of different shapes and sizes were decorated with rare flora. Fruit was thriving here: cocos, bananas, and mangos played the with the sky scenery. Colorful birds flew from the entity of the green shades; their noises were hypnotic and interesting. The work Mother Nature endowed on this place was obvious and the entity of the island set an idealistic setting.

We had finally reached the center; from beyond the tropical rainforest the blends of the trees morphed into an impacting waterfall that lead its gushing water to a large shallow pool of sparkling water. Rocky barriers of land encased the lagoon into what seemed like an elite room with reserved exclusivity.

"Oh wow. This place is freaken … woah." Leah's mouth hung open just like mine had the first time I encountered it.

"Sure takes your breath away huh?" I studied the nature of the setting we were now placed in. LaPush was nice in its own way. Here it was much brighter and colorful, would that get annoying? Most likely, but for now it was still breath taking.

"Hell yeah, it's so amazing. 'Looks like it came straight out of the National Geographic Channel." She scoffed.

**Leah's POV;**

From behind a tree near the waterfall, a strong and brightly vibrant red bird came fluttering elegantly toward me; it stood on my finger. I examined it; it was quite small but had withering speed. Its tail was a charcoal black that followed up to its wing where it also had a streak of white. Beyond its stunning physical appearance, I mostly admired its drive and its freedom. I felt its little wild heart beat fervently against its small chest. I imagined how courageous the little thing must be in order to survive out in this habitat. How fortunate it was to be able to fly off into the unknown and return to its owner with the same loyalty intact. What I would give to have that ability. I knew I could always shift and run off but, things would never ultimately be the same, something, even if it was minute, would never be the same.

I enclosed the bird lightly between both of my hands and kissed its tiny head, he chirped a little and I wondered if it was of contentment or of its struggle due being held captive. I decided to believe that it was pleased. I plunged the bird forward, releasing it and letting it soar its wings back to whence it came from.

I clenched my hands into fists once they were free, let them drop, amd then looked over my shoulder. Jacob was looking at me and when our eyes met, he did that side smirk thing he's got going on. He came towards me with his hands behind his back. When he stood half a foot away from me he brought his hands forward and revealed what he had been hiding.

Dark red velvet petals bloomed from the stunning exotic flower that was placed at the center of his palm. From within the flower more subtle and softer purple petals were revealed, evenly spreading out around each other to showcase the long strides of rolled up flower tubes that rose from the core. Each with its own small sphere of violet colored shades at the ends. Without paying attention to much of anything, I stopped analyzing the flower and noticed that Jacob pushed a part of my tresses behind my ear and placed the flower steadily into my hair.

"Wild, rare …" He took a step back before he set my hair in place once more. "… beautiful." His hand migrated from the hair that framed my face to my actual face running his finger delicately over my cheek. The butterflies in my chest seemed to get excited and fluttered within me. And, in our native tongue he whispered, "Just like you."

I wanted to crumble under his words of flattery, kiss him, and wrap my arms around him. But I couldn't let any sweet talk get to me, under no circumstances was I to become weak and surrender into this so called _love._ Someone was bound to find us soon, we would return home and everything would resume its proper order with me far away from Jacob. The part of me that wanted to leave and refuse Jacob was at a peak battle with the side that wanted to just _screw_ everything and give into these feelings.

My hand felt like it was suddenly weighed down by a ton of rock solid bricks. My attempts to remove the flower from my hair were quite feeble and pathetic. I only managed to turn away from him, "We need to get home Jake."

I heard his low but heavy sigh, how much would it take for him to just give up? Why was he so freakin' stubborn, I mean seriously.

"Yeah Lee-Bear. We'll be outta' here soon…"

**Third Person POV;**

Yet, the hours passed on and on eventually turning into more moons and suns. They kept track of the days spent allocated by keeping a tally count on one of the trees. The experience of being isolated only brought them closer. The different experiences that they lived may have seemed so insignificant but when examined closely they proved to be end tiers that only sealed the loose strands of their love. Of course you could never count on a day when they wouldn't bicker. Like children, they fought over the most ridiculous things while the next minute they were happily together again. Jacob had proposed to himself to win over Leah's heart, at whatever cost. Concealing a flame within another flame to conjoin and create a fire was dangerous. But that was what they were, a flamboyant flame that burned into romanticism and passion in an equal balance.

Naturally the Quileute were excellent fisherman, so they never went without food. Abundant fruit was available on palms which Leah would climb with stealthy speed. Jacob created fishing spears and pinned down fish with minimal, fluid striking movements. They spent all their time in human form, there was no need for them to become wolves, much less read each other's thoughts, unless they wanted serious awkwardness for the rest of the unknown time they would be residents of the island. In their recreational time they played all sorts of games, they raced from one end of the island to the other. Leah helped Jacob improve his running agility to the point where he posed somewhat of a slight challenge for her. However, she was still best at outrunning anything that could move.

They played with objects they found on their ineffective boat, like a football, playing hours on end. They even wrestled each other, playfully of course. Jacob instructed Leah into perfecting key movements that improved her natural fighting abilities.

Aside from that, they discussed how to get back home. Another great quality that the Quileute's possessed were boat making and basket weaving techniques. They began repairing their boat until one night of heavy wind the sea took the boat. Unfazed, from scratch they began building a new boat. Their progress was noticeably slow but, neither said anything because another noticeable attribute was their want of isolation from reality. Keeping busy with anything they could, they struggled with their inner feelings. Jacob, wanted to be a gentle men and win Leah over with more than brusque actions that he learned from the past, would earn him a good slap and "silent treatment". Leah of course, concealing her emotions, did it always keeping the future in mind.

One of their favorite pass times was to create fire pits and eat while telling each other their most intimate secrets. Not that they didn't already know many of them, because of the whole wolf thing but, there was a significant difference from when one finds out directly from the person rather than indirectly. Their confidence immensely grew, their bond become so strong even beyond belief. Well over the clinginess of best friends, it was apparent to them that what they felt was love, but not just any love: true love. How much longer would it take for Leah to see that a love so immense could surpass even the bravest of obstacles? Potent, natural true love was a connection source like no other. For mortals love was the closest thing known to the illusions of magic, but then what was it to those who knew strange things such as magic? Jacob would prove to Leah that _true_ love was still as intoxicating and even more magnificent than any magic or supernatural entity. But, did Leah already know this? Was it that she was trying to shun out these prominent facts in an attempt to shield her heart from certain heartache? Questions all with answers that will be sure to spark even more questions once answered.

**Jacob's POV;**

It had been a good two weeks since we were stranded here. My thoughts scanned through everything we had lived in the past days. Never in my life had I felt so happy and alive, but at the same time, I had never felt so confined by my own sentiments.

As we lay in bed I studied the structure of our little "hut" thing, it looked pretty darn good. It took us two whole days to make it so, it had better of turned out nice. I turned my head slightly and looked at how Leah breathed evenly, her chest rose and fell with subtle synchronization. Through the narrow cracks, a bit of light shone through and flawlessly kissed the copper skin tone of her face, it reflected immaculately on her chocolate brown hair which draped onto her shoulder. I couldn't get over how freaken' pretty that girl was. The girl that would soon be my girl, the one that I would soon get to cherish and protect, the one I would guard until my last breath.

"What are you staring at?", she broke the silence.

"Your nostrils were flaring." With eyes still closed, she smiled at my comment and threw her blanket at me.

"Shut up!" She opened her eyes then, stretched out, and yawned. "What's the plan today, Black?"

Our mornings were always started with some sort of mordant remark that was not so much intended for pain but, for humor. Something that the other would always laugh at and respond to with something just as witty or like today, throw something at the other.

We decided to play hide and seek today, one of our favorites. Leah always said that it was like life, with a predator and a pray. Malevolent.

"I'll be the pray. I'm sure I can outrun the dawdling predator." She said with a cynical smile and a sneering look as she walked right into me.

"Bring it Clearwater. I like a challenge." I said with the same tone as I teased her and circled her like she was my real live prey.

We played for, I don't know how long, for the most part time was an eminent entity that ran rapidly like a river without any way of return.

It was that moment, when I finally caught her and got her by surprise, that it happened…

I sneaked up behind her and grabbed her by the waist. She yelped with a hint of surprise and laughter combined together. She turned to face me and I hugged her, she was so giggly and happy that the mood just swept me away. She returned my hug with full force, our body heat clashed like fire, the burning passions and flames finally reacted.

And then, I whispered into her ear… "I love you."

**Leah's POV;**

It was all very bittersweet but, nothing comes handed down easily. The moment took me, I was blissful and immensely happy with the time I was away from reality, near Jacob. But that instant when we were so close and the combustions of our flames merged he whispered into my ear three heartfelt words that scared the crap out of me.

He said, "I love you."

I pulled away from his hold and looked deep into his eyes trying to find clarity and measure the sincerity within him. I think I already knew how honest he was but, I needed to convince myself that I was already convinced.

It all frightened me so, I just ran, I ran like a leaf being thrust by a violent wind.

I ran until I reached the edge of a huge boulder, hesitantly I looked behind me and then took a dive into the lagoon. I swam underwater pushing water away from my face until I finally came up for air. I ascended on the other side of the grand waterfall, stunned that there was even another side. Aside from the typical rocks I thought would be here there were multiple water caves, caves that resembled the one in my dream. But, that was the least puzzling thing on my mind. Hastily, I assessed all my options and organized my thoughts.

"Leah! Please don't run away from me. I'm sorry." Jacob appeared from under the water beside me. All I know is that I closed my eyes and simply kissed him, softly yet passionately; a hint of both.

When I pulled away he looked at me stunned, but before he could speak I told him, "I love you." _I love you._

He hugged me instantly and kissed my forehead.

"I realize that, well, I'm going to suffer anyway so why deny myself the possibility to be happy. At least for a while ... Jacob, I'm fuc*ing giving you my heart…"

He grabbed my hands, "You know I'll protect it…forever."

"I trust you." I said sincerely.

He tightened his grip on my hands, "And, you know that you've had my heart all along, Leah… just…embrace it."

I nodded, "Eternally."

He then cupped my face in his hands,

"Listen to me, no matter what. I love you, I always will. True love conquers _all._"

"Because it's _true._" I placed my hand on top of his, and then he took my hand and kissed the top of it.

"Eternally"; _eternally…_

And "Forever" _forever..._ I responded before we closed in and our lips met for another kiss that ignited the delicate inferno within our souls.

* * *

**AN: **There you go guys! Hope you liked it, sorry for the "certain to be there" typos in advance. I have great ideas for the chapters to come! **Reviews always welcome and greatly appreciated.** Here's a preview for the next chapter, woo I'm so excited!

Chapter 7 Preview;

_**Leah's POV; **__I was immensely happy, was it selfish to hope that we were never found? Maybe … _

_He took the blindfold off and revealed the most amazing sight ever, then he got down on one knee … the surge of emotions in me was continuous, none more overpowering than the other but all overwhelming … _

Next Chapter UP SOON!


	7. Those Three Words

**AN: Again, for the few of you who like this story. Thank you(: BTW: I LOVE cheesy romantic movies and such, hence the story might be well over cheesy at points. I grew up with the fairytales and the Telenovelas, Spanish soap operas, so I'm all for romance hehe. **

****Just a reminder, in my story Leah is younger than Jacob!**

**ITALICISED SENTENCES ARE SONG LYRICS; NOT WRITTEN BY ME. RESPECTIVE CREDIT AT THE END.**

"_Without fear there could be no courage. Without risk there can be no change, and with no change there can be no progression."_

_**Leah's POV;**_

I sat on the reefs out in the sea, my feet dangled into the water at ankle length. I was lost in my thoughts until Jacob came and sat next to me, "What are you thinking, Lee-Bear?"

"Look Jake, I just want you to know that I'm not _that _girl. You know? The one who'll go to bed with a guy, just like that." I snapped my fingers to emphasize my point; I had to make myself clear. "I have dignity, principles, honor, and morals; I won't put up with any of that bullshit."

He smiled at me, as if he liked it when I got a little pissed.

"And, I love that about you Leah. You're one of a kind." He kissed the top of my forehead then pressed me against his chest with a crushing hug, one that I was absolutely thrilled to received, one that I returned with the same fervor. He rested his chin on my head while he caressed my hair. It was all so surreal, thrilling, and frightening, all at the same time. I tried to center my thoughts on the present and not let them drift towards the past, or the future. I wanted to be stuck in 'right now' and enjoy the buzz of happiness; making it last as long as possible.

He let me go but his hands took mine, his fingers filled the empty spaces between my own and he looked deep into my eyes.

"My turn, _I know you've suffered but … I don't want you to hide. It's cold and loveless _and _I won't let you be denied. Soothing, I'll make you feel pure. Trust in me, you are the one._"

He seemed to have this reassurance in his voice that seemed so untainted and sincere. All this stuff was just so overwhelming; it was hard for me to give myself to another person after Sam, especially another wolf, one who was subject to imprinting. To my dismay Jake already had an imprintee, the daughter of the leech and the human, an interesting combination.

"I don't have to go in your mind to imagine how difficult it is to be with someone else. I know what you feel, I've felt it too Lee-Bear, it sucks. It does but you can't stay stuck on that… 'Sides how many guys know you like I do? _You may be a sinner but, your innocence is mine._"

His last sentence took me by surprise, "What do you mean?"

"Come on Leah, with how many guys have you been this open to? How many of them know the real you, the real Leah Clearwater. The one who you were, and still are inside, pre-phasing. Besides Sam but, really? I'm sure that not even with him. There are no secrets, we know anything and everything about each other, there's nothing between us."

"Yeah, except your imprintee spawn." I said with a mordant expression.

"Oh, Leah!" He said letting go of my hands in order to swing his arms in the air showing me the frustration my assumptions caused him.

"Get real Jake, we're in the 21st century, they're bound to find us sooner or later. Let me just tell you that if we do get rescued, things can't be like they are here. " I was prepared to face that. I knew that my actions and decisions here would affect me and him when we left. But, as I was going to show my devout love, I was going to let it go. Even though I wasn't so fond of the little vermin leach, she had feelings too and I couldn't stand between her and her happiness. Besides, Jacob would get over me and fall in love with her soon enough.

"Why not?" He challenged more than questioned me.

"Because that's the real world out there, not this." I said flinging some water with my foot. "The world outside isn't stopping for us; it keeps going and is going to continue once we return to it. Renesmee is part of that world; my job is part of that world, my mother and brother are part of that world." I was pretty much going off on him but it was the truth; I was going to be lucid and direct about it. As much as I loved him and he said he loved me, that love was going to be shattered by the stupid cursed form we're obligated to live in. Shit, I hated being a wolf sometimes.

"The love I have for you is also part of that world." He got me good there but I retailed with something of such equal value. "The fact you've found you 'soul mate' is also part of that world."

He sighed heavily and deeply before responding. Looks like it took him some time to conjure up his last sentence, "The world doesn't matter to me right now. You're all I care about Leah, the rest of the world can go to hell for all I'm concerned."

He left me speechless; I really had nothing better to tell him. I promised myself I wouldn't care about the future or the past, I'd just live in the present and enjoy everything. I was not living up to it so, I decided to just shut the fu*ck up for the moment.

"_I want to reconcile the violence in your heart; I want __to__ recognize_ _your beauty's not just a mask. I want to exorcise the demons from your past _and_ I want to satisfy the __**undisclosed desires**__ in your heart." _He faintly whispered as he closed in for a kiss, numb I couldn't pull back or resist, not that I wanted to anyways.

His lips ever so slightly touched mine; the texture was fine and subtle with softness. He teased me and taunted me before attempting a real kiss. However I did not allow this, if there was any teasing to be done, it would be done by me. I brought my lips to whisper in his ear, "_Please me, show me how it's done. Tease me— you are the one._" He kissed my neck tenderly, and then our lips finally met sharing a passionate kiss that completely lifted me from my soul. There was such warmth but, such ardor at the same time. A chemical reaction of indescribable feelings swarmed both our bodies. I didn't want this to end at all, I was immensely happy. Was it selfish to wish that we were never found? _Maybe_ but, I didn't care…

**Jacob's POV; **

Her lips were like fine velvet rose petals, soft and lingering on mine. Her scent and her kisses were like toxin to me, deadly and raving. Yet, I always wanted more, I could never have enough of her.

I ran my fingers through her hair as our foreheads met.

"Thank you."

"For what?" I asked by her sudden gratitude, she didn't hand that out much.

"For giving me happiness back, and for fixing my broken smile." She said as she bit her lip. Our foreheads parted and I pulled her close to me in a tight embrace.

The sun was starting to set; I have to say the timing was just right. I don't think I'd ever gain the courage to say, 'Hey Leah let's go watch the sunset.' But I think, no I know, she secretly and indirectly liked all the corny stuff. Ha, we just happened to be at the right place, at the right time. So while we were there, we watched the sky change colors from blue to pink, to violet, to purple, to black as the sun set beneath the waters.

With a random branch stick I outlined a square in the sand, "The object of the game is to push the other person out of the square." I instructed as I pointed to the shape.

"Hmm, seems simple enough. You know I'll beat you anyways no matter how hard or complex these games are." She stepped forward to be only an inch away from my face, and then pulled back.

"Ha, ha. We'll see about that." She scoffed at my response while her facial expression had that 'bring it' look to it.

We both stood within the square, I put my hands around her forearms and she put hers on mine. We deepened our stance to retain some sort of advantage. When she declared go I slightly pushed against her. When she really got into, she amazed me with her strength. When any other girl would try to push me, I could have thought it was just fly but, not Leah; I had to hand it to the girl, she had power. But, then again, I logically had more strength because of the whole 'alpha' thing I had going on for me. Slowly, I began to implicate more strength pushing her nearer and nearer to the confines of the square but, just as I was about to push her completely out she yelled. It looked like she twisted her foot. I immediately caught her after she seemed to lose her balance.

"Whoa there, you ok?" I asked her attentively.

"Crap, I think I messed up my ankle."

"Really? Here let me-", Then I fell right on my ass.

That was a sneaky move, she faked an injury to catch me off guard and push me out.

"Hey you! No fair Clearwater." I pointed my finger at her in a scolding manner.

She offered her hand to help me up, "You never said there were any rules Jakey-Poo."

She pecked my lips before she ran off.

I loved getting to know the real Leah underneath; one of the finest works of nature. She was so open and vulnerable, so playful and childish. Yet, she maintained her seriousness when it was necessary. She was so intricate; her personality had as many sides as a diamond, captivatingly enough she was as radiant and beautiful as one. She was unmatched by anyone who had ever lived or lives. Yet, she was dominated by the tuff facade she was forced to put on. But, here I could see and learn so much more about her. I could see that under that solid barrier she had set up, she was susceptible, sentimental, and charming. No one knew her this well, no one but me. It reminded me of that quote, 'Don't judge a book by its cover.' And in Leah's case even if you read a couple pages you still might not get the whole story.

After my quick thoughts of appreciation towards her I got up and ran after her, I flung her over my shoulder and made my way towards the center of the island. She protested of course but, I paid no mind to her hits and complaints. The more serene quiet lagoon's silence was interrupted when I threw us both into the water.

She threw some water at me "You freakin' jerk!" and I returned the favor. It was a water fight to the extreme, water flung everywhere and I cheated a bit by tickling her. It worked to my advantage that she was extremely ticklish, if I would have known that sooner I could have made her smile more. It looked like she had given up and retreated because, she just stopped and whipped her face then just looked at me. She had that look people give you when you have something on your face but they don't want to say anything.

"Yes?"

"Oh shit, sorry." She didn't say more except give me an innocent smile followed by a sudden crushing hug. It frankly caught me off guard but I liked it. The riveting heat from both of our bodies was meekly cooled by the water around us. We were fire, the kind that gives you warmth yet has this spontaneity and thrill of peril.

But, the bad thing was that when you played with fire— you'd eventually get burned…

"Don't get cocky but, you're hot dude." Her remark made me laugh inside.

"Did Leah Clearwater just compliment me?" I asked pretending to be utterly amused.

She rolled her eyes at me before laughing, "I said don't get cocky, but yes. Yes she did and when I say hot I literally mean both ways." This time I laughed out loud and kissed the top of her head inhaling her amiable exotic scent.

"I could say the same thing about you." As we drew in closer for a fiery kiss, at a centimeter away from each other, we were interrupted by a strange sound.

"What the hell is that?" That's all I could manage to say without further "cursing" usage. We both looked up to where the noise seemed to come from: the sky, yet saw nothing but a couple of clouds. Leah got out of the water and ran towards the beach. I caught up with her shortly and saw what had made stop in her tracks.

It was a nearing helicopter.

"Looks like we get a chance to get home, Jake." She never took her eyes off the airliner; I wondered about what she was thinking. Now I wish we were wolves so that I could hear her thoughts.

We could have easily attracted the chopper's attention. We had set up a signal fire that would be lit on an occasion like this. Our plan had also included us drawing out the letters S.O.S on the shore. Of course this little plan we fabricated was thought up two days after we got here, back when we were still trying to neglect each other.

"So, we put the plan in action?" I hoped to get some more words out of her to figure out where her head was. That helicopter was a ticket back home, to real life, to my Nessie, and also to no Leah.

If I really had to choose, I think I'd stay. I knew that Edward and Bella wouldn't let a speck of dust fall on Renesmee, she'd be safe. Eventually though, the need to see her was going to nab exasperatingly at my insides. I wanted them both, in different ways of course, but _both _with me. I didn't want to choose right now. But, what did Leah want?

"Yeah, do it, before they leave", she evenly said then turned around and leisurely walked towards the more open part of the shore. I went in the opposite direction towards the highest peak of the island at the same pace. _We're going home._ I couldn't fit it into my thoughts, after being here a little over a month, we'd be returning back to actuality: to the real world. A very bittersweet moment from which I tried to decipher what end was more dominant than the other.

"Jacob?" Her beatific voice called out to me. I turned around to face her slowly. She stood under a palm tree but, what most caught my attention were her features obscured with difficulty, angst, and honesty.

"_If I lay here. If I just lay here … would you lie with me and just forget the world_?" I could see she was fighting back tears. My heart was vanquished, willing to surrender to her own and offer it cherishing comfort. I wanted nothing more than what she was asking me, "_I need your grace— to remind me, to find my own_."

I nodded my head battling with my own inner emotions and ran to her, hugging her tight, "You'd bet ya, _we'll do it all. Everything on our own, we don't need anything or anyone._"

I took her hand and we both lay under the shade of the tree, her head rested on my arm, our legs intertwined and we watched as the helicopter flew past us and our non-eminent world.

**Leah's POV;**

It had been three days since the helicopter made its appearance around here and I had a little break down, quite embarrassing. I consoled myself with the fact that Jacob felt as I did, we were both reluctant to leave our habitat and venture out into our real lives again. You could say that it was as if it never happened but, on the other hand it did. We didn't speak of it but, the things said at that moment spoke for themselves in an echo that reflected upon us presently. As I rested, floating on my back at our lagoon, I looked up at the shapes of the clouds. I was amazed that the usually blue sky had been invaded by clouds, they had been moving in for the last couple of days. I missed the gray planes, the rain, and the gloom of LaPush. This was nice but nothing compared to the dimness of home, it was beautiful.

"Hey babe." Jacob stood on a ledge taking a bite into his mango.

I stood upright and shot him a glance, "Eating already? Without me?"

He chuckled, "Well I was hungry, here's one for you." He took another bite before throwing me a mango. "How about this time I get the fruit and you get the fish."

"Hm, a little mix up. Sounds good."

"I'd bet you I can get more fruit than you, gorgeous."

"HA! You can only try, but the amazement will truly be when I catch double what you do, honey."

I took a bite into my mango then made my way to the shore to begin my hunt. I heard Jacob say something softly, "Alright, guess that means go."

I aimed and threw my spear into the water striking three fish in a row. I threw the thing pretty far so I had to swim and go get it. Just as I was about to dive, the small bird, which I had encountered the first day I was here, zoomed right in front of me breaking my concentration. I nearly slipped but retained my balance. The small bird looped and came around to me, I put my finger out inviting it to stand, which it took briefly before departing again. It was a weird little thing, striking and mysterious. It made me smile.

Brushing off that uncannily grin educing encounter, I dove into the water swimming out a couple of feet from the reefs in order to reach my catch. When I reached them, I couldn't help feeling sympathy for the kill; this is why Jacob did the fishing. Unless I had a reason to, I wasn't barbaric; the thing was that I usually had a lot of reasons to be. I pulled the spear out of the sand; it was actually harder to do than I thought which was unusual considering I had wolf enhanced strength. But, once I got it out I began to head towards land. Half way there I felt a sharp pain in my right leg, "What the f**k." The language escaped my lips because that shit hurt. I turned around and saw this monstrous shadow beneath me and a whole lot of blood floating around. I tried to pull my leg but it was caught in something. It was caught in a shark's mouth. I immediately reacted by punching it on the nose, supposedly that was supposed to make them numb. In this case it made it let go of my leg but the pain was so immense that my wolf persona took over and before I knew it. I was on 4 legs. I clawed at the shark, which I'm sure left it a mark, and then plumaged to make it to shore.

Luckily there was some cloth nearby that I had washed and put up to dry. But that thought only took one second of my time. All I could think was a blaze of curse words and angry remarks at the pain that was inflicted on my leg. That shark had been well the size of myself in wolf form and since its mouth made up a lot of that, I didn't want to imagine the size of its teeth.

_Leah?_

_Jake, what the hell are you doing in my thoughts. I thought you'd be—shit— getting fruit._

_I am, it's just easier this way._

_You freakin' cheater. Ugh, son of a—_

_Woah what the hell's going on?_

_Oh fu***ng crap. _

_Leah! _

I phased back into my human form knowing that Jacob would come looking for me soon. With intricacy I was able to pull the cloth down and cover myself up. After, I just lay on the sand hoping that the sting would go away. After a couple of seconds I was able to sit up and look at the injury. It wasn't pretty, looked like it would take about two days to heal up. It was a bloody mess but, I imagined it had been way worse before my super healing thing kicked in.

"Leah! What in the f**k happened?"

"Nothing really, just almost had my leg bitten off."

"Not funny." He came down on one knee and helped me support a vertical position.

"But how?"

I smiled at him, "Shark, but I beat the shit out of it though." Then I laughed trying to ease up the mood.

"That's it." So easily and quickly he lifted me up and carried me, "I'm definitely doing the fishing from now own. And, you can stick to the fruits; it takes too damn long to climb."

"How's the bite?", Jacob said touching the skin which had nearly been ripped off. I bent it, it felt pretty good and even the scarring was almost gone. "I think its 99% operative Sir. Alpha." I did the little commander salute thing; he was just so fun to mess with. He tickled me before standing up, that was the only thing that he could get me with and he knew how to use it.

"Come on Lee-Bear I want to show you something."

"Ooo, what?" I asked quite interested.

"It's a surprise and if I told you what it was then it wouldn't be much of a surprise, now would it?"

I thought about getting a loop hole in there, "Mm, no it'd still be a surprise. Just a ruined one."

We both laughed together, "No, no missy. I'll just tell you it's in the caves by the waterfall." He grabbed a dark piece of fabric and blindfolded me.

"Ugh! This better be good Jacob Black." I said as I blindly hugged him.

"Don't worry it will be." He swept me off my feet and made his way to his destination. I felt the wind blow in my hair; I heard his heartbeat and felt the heat from our bodies merge. I also felt the anxiousness in me to discover what he had to blindfold me for. Knowing Jacob, it's either a prank or something really special. When we finally made it, he set me on my feet; I could hear gushing water and the echoing effect it produced once it hit the ground. Very slowly he untied the cloth and took the blindfold off to reveal one of the most amazing sights ever.

Flower petals from multiple floras were all aligned into a walkway that showcased the back wall of the cave. Behind a small slanted cascade and pool of water there was an intricate handmade carving. The light from one end of the cavern reflected on the colorful fish illuminating the illustration. There were two wolves, each with stunning details, carving strokes and lines that enhanced the drawing down to the fur on their paws. They were the obvious centerpiece of the work but, the detail in the rest of the drawing was remarkable. There was the broken boat; the palm trees, the flowers, and even the helicopter depicted with point precision. I ran my fingers over the carving feeling the uneven planes.

"This is freakin' amazing Jake, how long did this take you?" I asked finally facing him.

"Well, I started three days after we got here, starting with us." Then right there he added a 'J' under the slightly larger wolf and an 'L' under the other.

"Eternally." I whispered.

" … and forever." He whispered in return. When he was finished I noticed that he not only added our initials but he added our phrase of everlasting love.

"Leah, now that we're here I would just … like to ask you something…" He looked nervous, which made me kind of nervous too. Before I could try to predict what was happening he grabbed my hand and hastily gave his plan away.

He got down on one knee before me, "Leah Clearwater— eternally and forever, I would like to pledge my love for you before our ancestors, if you would have me— will you marry me?"

He presented me a beautiful bracelet made of a wood exclusive to the island, it had oyster pearls embedded within the complex and elaborate weaves of the twigs. All of his work for _me_, for _us. It_ was completely astounding.

The emotions in me surged like an unprecedented hurricane. The mixed feelings in me were continuous, but none more overpowering than the other, yet all overwhelming. How would we have a wedding here, where there was no one but us? How would things change for us here? Wouldn't the commitment and attachment make it more difficult for us when we had to leave? Would he tell everyone what had happened here? How would they react? How would his spawn react? What about their parents, my mom and his dad? Would everything ever be the same?

On the other hand, this would be a certain magical experience, a multifarious expression of our unusual and strong love. I knew that I felt something beyond supernatural for him. But, were his feelings as strong as mine? _Of course right? Then why would he ask me to marry me. _So many more questions puzzled me to the point where I couldn't keep track of them.

With one deep look into his eyes my questions vanished, my doubts were obliterated, and all that was left was my certainty of the love I had for him. In his eyes I also found the sincerity and truthfulness of his self proclaimed love for me.

I gulped, "Yes. Yes, I'll marry you Jacob Black." His face lit up instantaneously, the sheer bliss in our faces and our laughter was evident. I noticed that he wore a bracelet resembling the one he presented me, minus the pearls of course.

He placed my bracelet on my right arm then got up and embraced me tight before twirling me all around, 360 style. I remained in his arms even after the hug, both of us unspoken in taking the joy of our new found decision.

He broke the silence first, "_I don't quite know how to say how I feel—_cuz' _those three words are said too much. They're not enough."_

_I love you._

He's right.

_I love you_ doesn't even begin to describe the potency of our feelings towards each other.

We shared a passionate kiss, each of which was always better than the last.

"_All that I am. All that I ever was, is here in your perfect eyes; they're all I can see_."

"You are sooo cheesy Jacob Black." He raised an eyebrow with a half open grin.

"Well,my bad."

I giggled as I experimented with his reactions, "But I never said I didn't like it."

This time he we laughed together; he kissed me on the cheek and re-enforced his embrace on me. This entity of happiness consumed me, tremendously in an unrealistic way.

"Wow," I said as he rocked me soothingly.

"What?"

"I don't know. I mean this is so surreal. This kind of stuff just doesn't exsist; I mean we don't live in a freakin' fairytale. It's like _true_ love is endangered and soon to be extinct."

"Life's no fairytale, until you make it one. That doesn't mean it'll be easy but, it's not impossible. Just look at it this way, if you're lucky enough to experience the real deal, work on preserving it."

I thought about his words, they made sense in a drivel sort of way.

"So we're getting married huh?"

A wide smile overcame him, "Yes, yes we are."

"When?"

"As soon as possible, hmm how does this weekend sound?"

So soon? It was Thursday already, but then again what the hell did it matter really?

"That sounds perfect."

The questions and the doubts began invading me again. As my thoughts began to wander off, they returned when he took my face into his hands and kissed me with his perfect lips. Nothing else in the world mattered but us. The security he provided me with was both reassuring and comforting. Nothing beyond the compounds of our make believe land was important. I made cherishing my present an objective, so that it would be worth forever.

I was going to get my happily ever after, even if it was for a little while …

**There you go(: That took me forever haha. Well I just have to tell you guys I still have in mind some sudden halts, turns, and tricks up my sleeve. I can't wait to share them with you guys but … all in due time.**

***SONGS***

**First set; **_**Undisclosed Desires by Muse.**_

**Last Set; **_**Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol**_** was used.**

**Click the button, its right there, make me a happy writer! Please(:**


	8. Eternal Bonds

**I feel like I'm moving things along so fast, where is my spontaneousness? Anyways thanks for making me smile with your reviews(: **Just a heads up, some content in this chapter may be a little bit for slightly mature audiences.**

**P.S: If you own a TUMBLR, please follow me! I'm anavictoriaa (DOT) tumblr (DOT) C0M !

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_Leah's POV; _

_The questions and the doubts began invading me again as my thoughts began to wander off but when he took my face into his hands and kissed me with his perfect lips nothing else in the world mattered but us. The security he provided me with was both reassuring and comforting. Nothing beyond the compounds of our make believe land was important. I made cherishing my present an objective, so that it was worth forever._

_I was going to get my happily ever after, even if it was for a little while …_

**Jacob's POV;**

_I saw Leah's face: graceful, beautiful, and strong. She was how I liked to see her, happy. Her laughter and her smile bewildered me in the most fascinating sense. She was being her typical playfully brat like self. We were playing around on the shore like a couple of kids on a Sunday afternoon. I was as equally blissful as she was, a feeling I appreciated. A feeling that I welcomed with open arms as opposed to other surge of emotions I'd rather forget about. _

_But then, I lost her from my sight. Thankfully, I found her, then she offered me her hand, which I took. She led me towards the riveting currents of the water, "Where are we going?" _

"_Beyond." That's all she responded without further insight which, frankly made it all more confusing for me. _

_We kept walking into the water until it reached us at chest level then with a sudden tug she pulled me inside. The sea blurred my vision and everything became fuzzy. I closed my eyes tight then opened them again only to find more confusion. We were now in the forest of our _real home, _back in Washington. Leah hugged me tight, and as dumbfounded as I was I returned the embrace with the same strength. To add to the peculiarity of the situation, out of nowhere she bent over in what seemed like a jolt of pain. One of her hands remained on my shoulder and the other grasped the fabric of her shirt at the abdomen. I tried to help her retain her posture; she just looked at me and whispered my name before falling on the floor in an unresponsive faint. _

"_Leah!" I kneeled down and grabbed her hand._

_With the next blink of an eye we were in a hospital hallway; she was on a rolling bed being pushed by paramedics. Her cut off shorts were no longer blue but a dark red, streaks of blood ran down her thighs. It looked like she was hemorrhaging; the blood was then seeping onto the cushion of the bed. She was no longer jovial, everything was the opposite now. She was crying, Leah was crying. She almost never allowed herself to show that degree of fragile emotions in front of anyone she knew, much less strangers. She squeezed my hand and called my name over and over again. She seemed out of it and I couldn't do anything but follow her bed through the pallid and dull corridors. _

_I was stopped by some short little nurse guy yelling at me, like I was stupid. The bond that our grasped hands created was abruptly torn as they halted me and kept wheeling her away. She kept calling my name and trying to regain her touch on my hand. The man before me waved his hands in front of me and said something about me "not being able to go in there". I wasn't paying attention to him, but more to where they were taking Leah. When I saw they turned the corner I decided that this little school boy wasn't going to get in my way. I pushed him out of the way and ran towards the direction I saw them last. But, when I turned the corner there were only more vast hallways. I ran and I ran in what seemed like an endless maze, one I was held captive in, one that confined me. I heard muffled cries and a loud scream of pain followed by heavy suspires and my name repeatedly. I was getting frustrated for not getting anywhere, the wolf within me took command and my speed capacity increased to my advantage. I kept running through the white barriers._

_Then, I saw Renesmee's face, my beautiful Nessie. The endearing image of her innocent and angelic face halted me causing me to fall in an unforeseen abyss of a white entity. With another blink of an eye I awoke in my human form, in a bed with Renesmee lying next to me. _

"_Good morning."She smiled and then abruptly kissed me on the lips. This kiss was no peck, but a stirring bounty that was deep with infuriated passion. She was no longer the happy toddler I remembered. _

"_How could you Jacob?" Leah now stood at the foot of the door. I couldn't find the words to justify myself, or rather ANYTHING that was happening. _

_I realized that I was unclothed so I grabbed the white cotton sheet and ran after Leah. To make things more confusing, as soon as I stepped out of the door it was like I stepped into another world. Leah was now wearing a long white tulle dress with a corset top. She was anything but a blushing bride, her hair and her eyes were equally wild. She looked crazed like she came straight out of a horror flick. Motionless she was sitting in the middle of a clearing in the forest. I was numb, unable to properly command my body to make any movement._

"_Why Jacob? It was her over me? I couldn't even tell you. I-I hate. You." The resentment and antagonism each word carried dropped on me like thousand pound weights that crushed all of me including my heart. She threw me one final piercing look before she turned around and sprinted deep into the forest. I gained control and shifted hurriedly dashing behind her. Perhaps the oddest thing of it all is that when I finally reached her she looked completely inhumane but, she _was_ absolutely human. There was a tattered animal at her feet, decapitated and mutilated. She was seated on the damp forest dirt, chewing on one of the creatures limbs. Her mouth was coated in blood, most of which oozed from the corner of her lips. The droplets of blood that fell left streaks as they dripped down to her chest. The white tulle from her dress was no longer wholly white; it was stained to the point where it was almost completely a deep maroon. _

_After noticing I was present, she said my name once then looked up to me with fiery eyes. A single tear dropped from the inner corner of her eye. As it fell, it washed a strip of the blood that bedecked her appearance. She gasped and then her body dropped limp and lifeless to the ground reveling Renesmee behind her._

That's when I realized I had been dreaming and alarmingly awoke, "Dude I've been calling your name for the past, what? Like three minutes."

"What ?" I was confused, trying to intake the dealings of my dream as I quickly sorted hallucination vs. reality.

"You told me to wake you up." I wasn't nearly so focused on what she was telling me. I was just glad to see her happy, not dark and anguished like I just had.

I sat up as I ran my hand through my shaggy hair, "Thanks babe." I puckered to kiss her and when I was about to touch her lips she pulled away.

"Ah-ah. You'll have to wait 'till the wedding night." She headed towards the door and blew me a kiss before leaving. I couldn't help but chuckle a bit at her wonderful insanity.

I laid back down allowing myself to sink onto the handmade bed of wood, palm leaves, and rags. I reclined my forearm on my forehead as I reminisced what I could from my dream. Did it mean anything? I mean, I'd never been one to have premonitions. All those magic filled matters were best left for people who welcomed it and deciphered it, like the elders. Me? Shape shifting and all the crap that came with it was as close to magic as I got.

I would have liked to brush off that dream like it was a mere pesky mosquito but, the truth was that it reminded me of so much and worried me even further. First of all it reminded me Ness, the notion of _her_ was an undeniable thorn at my side that I had been neglecting to acknowledge. The yearning to see her delicate face and her touch her smooth petite hands was overpowering. The stupefaction of not knowing how much she'd grown and the curiosity to see what she looked like now was also prominent. Deep within me I ached to see her, play with her, and hug her tight securing her in protection. I evoke that she is _still_ my imprint and will forever remain so.

The one other outstanding thing that the stupid dream concerned me about was, Leah. The explicit content of my bizarre dream involving my future wife made me apprehensive. The pain that excruciated the tone of her voice echoed in my head. The images of the pain she demonstrated were embossed fresh in my memory. Her pain was so brutal that I swore I felt it in my own core. The comfort I found in the entire situation was that it was only a dream, because if she was ever in that pain, I'd lose my fu**ing mind. I'd search the under every stone and twig until I found the cause of her hurting, I wouldn't rest till' I did it.

I couldn't help but wonder if this was some sort of forewarning of something about to happen, kind of like when Leah had dreamt up the whole business about her mom. But, nah, that didn't seem possible because what I had seen was exactly that, not possible. At least the way it was composed wasn't. This was just going to make more cautious of anything that may happen to her. Cuz' no one messes with Jacob Black's girl.

My thoughts suddenly shifted to the circumstances I was presently involved in. I was going to get married to Leah Clearwater tomorrow. Gosh, I remember how much of a complete nervous wreck I'd been the day I proposed to her. Such meager fear was so foreign to me; I'd always been so confident and self assured. But with Leah, it was all so different, almost unexplainable, I was completely faltered. She made me feel vulnerable and susceptible for a blow. Asking her to marry me was one of the scariest things I had ever done but, the risk was worth it because she had accepted me. Knowing that she had agreed to pledge her love for me was exuberating.

But, _how would we do it?_ We sat down and over a bonfire decided what would happen. We'd have a feast, something between us with lots of food. We'd have some sort of written document that we would sign. Notebook paper and a red pen would suffice for now; it's some of the very convenient stuff that had been lying around on the boat. We'd do with what he had but, I couldn't help but feel remorse because I couldn't give Leah the wedding I knew she'd dreamt of. The one where her family could be there and, she could walk down a real aisle with a mile long dress. I wanted her to have that; I wanted to see her with a veil on her face. I wanted my boys there, howling and crackin' jokes. But, for now I was just going to conform myself with important things, like our love.

**Leah's POV; **

I was about to get married to Jacob Black, a fact I couldn't bring to believe just yet. There had been a lot of changes from the Leah I was a couple years ago to the Leah I am today. A lot of my hopes and aspirations remained the same, although my confidence in accomplishing them diminished. Having a family and a husband had always topped the list. Of course, when I turned into the genetic freak wolf girl all of that changed and those dreams became undisclosed desires in my heart. But somehow, Jacob and I found a way to make the whole "marriage" thing sort of work out and seem real. I guess I can't say that my existence has been a total pit of hell; life had found a way of making everything tolerable and so much better when I knew I couldn't have thought of anything to do that.

I can't deny the hesitance over my choice though; there was only one prominent fact that made me insecure, it was the genuineness of Jacob's feelings. It made me remember of way back in the day when I was normal girl still. When boys would swarm me like crows on corpse and just like them, they wanted the body. It's not like I was easy, but those self proclaimed Casanovas always enjoyed a challenge and since I spat on the petty attempts of most, they all wanted to prove they could take me. Whenever a guy would even try to imagine doing things to me, Sam took care of them, if I hadn't got them yet that is. The girls, they were jealous and whether they wanted my boyfriend or my looks, I didn't care, I was _happy._ A feeling that I had forgotten even existed until I became true friends with Jacob and, now that we were even lovers. Even if Jake was a wolfy alpha, he was still a human boy, a hormonal teenage boy, not the best combination that nature came up with. My concerns lied with that very prominent fact. Would he use me then throw me out like last week's garbage? No. I'd kill him.

I rampageously searched into my mind for clues as to what could possibly be going through his head. I wanted to shift at the exact moment so that I could read his mind and see if he really loved me like he said he did. I remembered the time back at LaPush when he was the total eye candy, right after he had phased. Girls were throwing themselves at him, literally. But, he retained his poise unlike most guys who would have done them all in a heartbeat. He wouldn't have gone through all the trouble to get me when his choices had always consisted of a wider range. I shouldn't torture myself with any kinds of negative thoughts, this was my time to be strictly contented and enamored in love.

I let my thoughts submerge into deepness of the sea. The ocean breeze slightly brushed across my face and seeped through my hair. On its voyage, the wind danced with random pieces of my hair and swayed them lithely. I enjoyed the peaceful quiet that was only disturbed by the crash of the waves as they hit the sand. The serenity of the palms swaying in the background offered a more eluded world. I got up and ran into the water, swimming and exploring the rainbow of fish beneath me. The rays of the sun hit the water and illuminated the fluorescent scales of the animals. The sea coral was also an intricate ornament that decorated the waters. I roamed the water in search of that which I didn't know. I noticed a large and beautiful shell; it belonged to a sea turtle. I grabbed a hold of it and let the turtle guide me through the waters. The round into the other depths of the crystal clear water was amazing. I was feeling more at ease and less nervous about what I was about to do.

I broke the surface and ran my fingers through my hair shaking off the excess water as I returned to the shore. I went back into our small compound where I was working to make my dress. Of course Jacob couldn't be there to look at the dress, or me for that matter. We had agreed to not see each other until the wedding, to make things more exciting. I was getting lonely but, I wasn't about to be the first one to break. I worked on my dress to keep busy. I used the white sheets we had for the skirt and a strip of white cloth to make a wrapped sort of top. I was going to be bearing some skin; I didn't have the proper materials to make anything near to a full wedding gown here, so I just did with what I had. I even used the fishing line as a base to make the tail of my dress with tight knit white flowers. I was almost finished so I figured that by nightfall I'd be done. Then the next morning I'd wear it and be the wife of Jacob Black.

I tossed and I turned but I couldn't sleep, the anxiety and the nerves overtook me again. It seemed impossible to keep my eyes closed for more than 10 seconds. The butterflies in my chest were distraught and restless. I tried everything, from attempts of relaxation to freakin' counting sheep. I had no idea what finally worked at the end, but something did and I drifted into a slumber after not being able to sleep for half the night.

I woke up to the chirps of the birds and the gentle draft that tingled my body. Everything seemed so desolate, I felt like I was the only one here. Knowing that I wasn't made me smile. I sighed as I got up, I was still tired from last night but I found the energy to keep moving from the aura in the air. There was a submission of bliss with every gust that cooled me. I began to ready myself; I carefully put my dress on then proceeded to do my hair. I had braided it the night before so it was slightly wavy this morning. I used my hair to create the halo at the crown of my head by braiding two parts on each side then joining them at the back. I still had the flower that Jacob had given me the first day we arrived, it wasn't as plentiful but it still had some of its color and to me, it looked as initially beautiful. I place it behind my right ear, grabbed my bouquet, took a deep breath and headed out towards the caverns behind the waters. The sun was perched at the center of the sky indicating that the time had come. We were going to hold our little "ceremony" at the same place where he proposed to me.

Then I'd be Jacob Black's wife.

Holy fu**ing shit, was I really about to go through with this? It wasn't so much the paper that counted as much as the spiritual commitment. Then again, it's like if we were already married (minus the touchy intimate stuff) we were like husband and wife already. I was the beta to his alpha pack; we were in each other's head, under each other's skin, and linked for life. This wouldn't be that bad, I hoped. I'd never been so susceptible to this feeling of nervousness, it was horrific to be under the influence of such a thing. But, I wouldn't let myself waver.

I composed myself and turned the corner. Then, when I saw him standing there without any visible hesitation, captivated in the moment of what were about to do, the only two feelings left inside me were love and happiness.

**Jacob's POV;**

I seriously considered jumping off the cliff top to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Leah was finally going to be _mine_, her heart was going to officially belong to me, and I could love her more than Romeo ever did Juliet. As I stood there, I became overwhelmed with anxiety, frankly I was a little petrified by the whole thing. But, I wouldn't let Leah see me falter; I was going to put on a brave face just in case she couldn't. Knowing her she probably would but—

My train of thought completely left off course and crashed in a horrendous detonation. I saw Leah turn the corner; it was the most breath taking sight I'd ever seen. She looked so beautiful, to the extent where she made the vampires look like average people. She'd even make Paul jump off my couch and leave his food. She'd make Sam's jaw drop in repentance. She'd make an orchid and a rose jealous. And she'd definitely make my heart skip a few beats. I smiled a smile that was probably wider than I'd intended it to be. We locked eyes and she returned a modest smirk before looking down to the floor. I could have sworn that she was blushing, of course I'd never mention it to her, or she'd kick my ass.

I had ignited fire in small piles that all aligned in an isle sort of shape that was full with rose petals. The light from the flames illuminated behind her accentuating her beauty in a lovely manner. Her face lit up along with the copper tint of her complexion. She looked stunning in her wear; the top flawlessly framed her upper body. From behind her neck the cloth wrapped around her chest and back, concealing and revealing at the same time. Some of her midriff was bare but the fabric once more wrapped hugging her waist to where the floor length skirt began. Furthermore, the span of its tail appeared to be wild flowers which followed perfectly behind her. I saved examining her face for last, her soft and chiseled features, her enchanting eyes, voluminous lashes, and her luscious tresses. The flower that decorated her hair was the one I'd given to her. Her bouquet was made of the same flowers but _her_ loveliness outshone them all.

I extended my arm as she neared me. As soon as she placed her hand within mine I kissed the top of it. With tender endeavor I spoke to her, "You look, so … . Gorgeous, Lee-Bear." I knew it wasn't my imagination; tears welled up in her eyes. Perhaps the best reaction to a sentence filled with honesty and heat felt compliments. "Babe, don't cry." I tried to hug her but she pushed me away with an abrupt hit. "Shut up. I'm fine." She lightly laughed easing up the notion in the air, "You don't look to bad yourself, Jake." She ran her hands through my hair as she spoke and then down my neck to my bare shoulder.

From the pocket of my one good pair of cut off jeans I pulled out two wooden rings. I put one in her hand and kissed it once more,

"Leah Clearwater, do you take me Jacob Black to be your— uh, semi-lawfully wedded husband? To love and to cherish in sickness and health …" I tried to remember the rest, I was nervous and even when I was stable I only knew the most famous lines from Rachel's soap operas …

"Til' death do us part?" I looked into her eyes profoundly as I waited for her answer.

"… I do… I will _always _love you, Jacob Black." I wanted to kiss her right then and there but, I contained myself. I took her hand and slid on the handmade wooden ring. It was sleek and simple; I had crushed oyster pearls and made small dips in the wood to place them in a straight arrangement, secured with tree sap. It took a couple tries to get it just right but when I got it, it looked killer. With precision I was able to carve our initials on the inside along with the date. I was pleased by the smile that bejeweled her face.

"Do you Jacob Black take me, Leah Clearwater, to be your— wife? To love and to cherish in sickness and health … till' death do us part?"

"… I do." I thought about the confines of that statement for half a second.

"Screw death … I'll _forever_ love you Leah, beyond to where ever we go next." I could see the effect of my words in her eyes. She placed the ring on my finger and whispered, "_I love you." _

I pulled her to close to me and kissed her slowly, in taking the poison of her lips. Her hands ran through my hair, as my hands touched the soft delicateness of her back, our lips warmly lingered on one another. Her taste was exotic, indescribable; I felt the addiction consuming me. The passion that lied within us slowly awaked. Our kiss seemed eternal, but that was ok, time was at a halt and all that was important to me _right now_ was Leah.

Without precaution whatsoever, I swept her off her feet; all she could do was laugh in excitement, "What are you doing Jake?"

"You didn't forget about the honeymoon did you?"

I didn't really let her answer the question, I simply ran up to the highest peak of the island at top speed keeping her in my arms. This was where most of my time was spent; I had built another room up here. Except that I had purposely not included one keen element of a room, the roof. I wanted us to be able to gaze at the stars; I wanted to admire her as she tried to find fixed constellations. I wanted to love her under the light of the stars.

I set her down and she immediately noticed the open top, she looked up and smiled.

"What do ya know? A full moon." She looked at me with a sly smile.

"Think I can make you howl wolf boy?" she said playfully as she ran her finger down my chest.

**Leah's POV; **

I traced the line that divided his chest and pecked him on check before retracting to examine the place. It was freakin' amazing; Jacob never ceased to surprise me. I loved the impulsive nature that drove him to do whatever seemed fit for him at the moment. I sat on the light sheets as I took the unbelievable reality I was living in. I was married to Jacob Black now. He was mine and I was his, we were together until death, or Renesmee, tore us apart. I got up and shook off the negative thoughts. Fu*k the world, it was time for things to revolve around _us_.

I found warmth in Jacob arms, comfort, and ease. Nothing felt better than feeling secure in his arms, hearing his heartbeat, and knowing he was near. I closed my eyes as I pondered our present situation; we were on a so called honeymoon. _Things_ are supposed to happen at these things right? Awkward.

Jacob slid his hand to the nape of my neck, he was going to kiss me; I stood still in a non-responding manner only closing my eyes. I didn't know if I was actually ready to do this, not when I was slightly unsure. Making love was something sacred to me, something that instilled my values as a person and as a woman.

To my surprise, he retracted.

"Leah, we don't have to do anything tonight.' Nothin' but, look at the sky and sleep. We can just lie here next to each other and enjoy our company… Nothing has to happen if you don't want it to. I'll wait— as long as you want and need."

That profession of undine compliance to wait for me did it. Risks were a part of life but, now what we were about to do didn't seem like a risk anymore. We would recognize our love to each other in the most natural and purest of ways.

My only answer to his avowal was a deep fervent kiss.

**Third POV; **

Their kiss was an ignition to the flicker of passion that lied within them. He pulled her tight against his body feeling the heat veiled in her heart. She ran her fingers through the strands of his hair as he secured her tightly in his arms. She slowly undid the button on his shorts as he untied the wrap around her upper body. Between the entities of their flamboyant kisses they unclothed each other and shifted down into the sheets. The passion of the words unsaid and the moments of tension consumed them. Their bodies collided with each other in ardent strokes. They had become one in body, soul, and mind. The consummation of their love was a heightening feeling that drifted them from the world.

Her skin was a soft velvet fire that passed along his flesh. His hands held a magic touch that glided over the curves of her body.

His lips touched the warmth of her neck all the way down to her body. The trails of kisses would forever be marked on their bodies like imperceptible tattoos. The long forsaken passion awakened their senses; the bond that was created would be an impenetrable figurative creation. For the first time they knew the other's bodies from every line to every curve. The ecstasy of their offering to each other made her back arch and his breath intensify. Their hearts raced as the flickers of flame held captive within them combined and produced a conflagration of flames.

She ran her hands down his back feeling his muscles flex with every movement. Her nails dug deep into his back, seeping into his flesh leaving their mark. He caressed the fine skin down her arm before their hands intertwined as he pulled her hand above their heads. But, once her hands returned to his neck she pushed him closer onto her. He rolled onto his back as she took charge of the moment. Between their avid loving they paused to absorb the moment and look into each other's eyes.

He pulled her hair out of her face and traced the line of her lips, "Leah, let me love you … all over again."

"Love me forever." Was her simply reply but the kiss she gave him was an answer worth more than any words could have given to understand.

Their bodies demanded more, the glowing embers of their fire were not yet put out. They had much more to offer to each other and more to receive. His teeth lightly pressed down onto her lips in a conforming expression of bliss. The lovers' exasperated breaths never ended the inevitable sighs of lust and love combined in a deadly combustion. Their hearts were freed from trials and tribulations; all that was left was their exceptional love. Their bodies were so tightly locked together by a chain of an eternal union and unconditional devotion. They moved together like flickering flames no longer concealed in the confines of any previous worldly restrictions.

Their moment of enamoring and total self giving was only beginning.

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**Ok, so I was going to have them have their little feast afterwards and the making of the record but then I forgot about it and got too lazy to add it in so they'll just celebrate a little later(:**

**So I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, sorry for lagging it but yeah! The rest of their steamy night is left for you to imagine(;**

**REVIEW! **

**Please?(:**


	9. Choices

**THANK YOU for being SO patient with me..**

**To address some of your questions: NO! Nessie has not gotten kicked to the curb, she's still very prominent as she is Jacob's imprintee. As much as I detest writing about Jacob feeling anything for her, she's going to be a big part of the story(; **

**Regarding Sue, I'm not sure what's up with her. I haven't thought that up but I will soon enough(: NOW, on the story!

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_He pulled her hair out of her face and traced the line of her lips, "Leah, let me love you … all over again."_

_"Love me forever." Was her simply reply but the kiss she gave him was an answer worth more than any words could have given to understand._

_Their bodies demanded more, the glowing embers of their fire were not yet put out. They had much more to offer to each other and more to receive. His teeth lightly pressed down onto her lips in a conforming expression of bliss. The lovers' exasperated breaths never ended the inevitable sighs of lust and love combined in a deadly combustion. Their hearts were freed from trials and tribulations; all that was left was their exceptional love. Their bodies were so tightly locked together by a chain of an eternal union and unconditional devotion. They moved together like flickering flames no longer concealed in the confines of any previous worldly restrictions._

_Their moment of enamoring and total self giving was only beginning._

**Leah's POV;**

I felt a droplet of water run down my cheek, the miniature splash, the minute noise, and the smell of approaching rain woke me from my sleep. Immediately, the flashbacks of my "honeymoon" night began to scour in my brain. The passion, the lust, and the love that filled the banks of my memoirs were dazzling. Nothing like I had ever felt before in my life, I'd never felt so in unison with someone else. I'd never felt so strong and in control but yet, I had never felt so vulnerable and successive. I just hadn't had that out of body experience before, period. I never even deemed that something so powerful could take command of my body and soul.

Also, I never deemed that the one person who could make me feel like that was, Jacob Black. Not that that's bad, it's simply still surreally unbelievable how far we'd come along in the past years. From hate, to like, to friendship, then love, and now marriage… sounds like an overplayed cliché story except, ours had so much more depth than that.

What enraged me at times, was life... it seemed to take away the things I cared most about. I knew Jacob wouldn't be trailing behind very far. Weather _we_ wanted it to be that way or not. The stupid guidelines of imprinting just chased us around more than our own shadow. It was completely sickening but, it was something I knew would come along to bite me in the ass sooner or later. Now I'm just waiting, making the most of what I have for as long as I have it.

I sighed deeply and heavily as I tried to erase those dreadful thoughts from my head and attempt to fill it with much more pleasing and favorable memories like those I experienced last night. The night I will never ever forget for the rest of my life.

I felt the absence of heat around me and started to feel the perimeter around, finally opening my eyes.

"Jake?" I rubbed my eyes trying to search for him.

Then, I saw him standing up, fumbling with large strips of cloth in his hand.

"Wow, you look like you could use a brush."

He looked up at me, "Yeah, I'm not the only one." He laughed as said gesturing at my own hair with his eyebrow.

I smiled a little and ran my fingers through my hair, well _tried_ to until they got caught in the gazillion tangles that hid in my hair. I didn't want to picture my wild and unruly hair: courtesy of Jacob.

"Not like we'll need them or anything but, we'll have to be sleeping without sheets from now on."

_What?_ _Oh god, then what was covering me! _ I was instantly relieved to find that my wedding dress was laid on my body.

"Looks like the clothes survived though—and would you look at that! The room made it too!" He laughed and coolly tried to lean his elbow onto one of the poles. Except that, he didn't look so cool when he nearly fell along with the whole freakin' structure of the little shelter. Looks like the place wasn't so sturdy after all, or maybe we weren't quite as serene as we had perceived.

I couldn't help but laugh out loud at Jacob, he almost practically ate it.

"Look what you did Leah." He said dusting off his worn pair of shorts.

"What _I_ did?" I scoffed at his remark.

"Yeah, I mean… you couldn't take your hands off me!" This time my loud laugh was divided into HA's as I rolled my eyes. But, I decided to play along, "Right, right. It was all me." I uncovered my leg sensually to tease him and of course after a bit of hesitance he caved in. He rushed over to my side hugging me and kissing me all over my neck and my cheeks.

Before I knew it I was calmly cradled in his arms, embraced by his strong hold. We then turned more serious and passive.

"You don't know how many nights I've dreamt of having you … and whispering in your ear that _I love you_." he confessed.

"Really?"

He laughed shyly and ran the nape of his finger down my cheek, "… leaving the traces of my lips on your body, and caressing your bare skin— you know, without the risk of getting a hook to my gut.."

After that I couldn't resist doing it, so I allowed myself to have a little fun and socked him.

"You can't get rid of _that_ just yet." I smiled as I saw that I took some of his air.

"You don't need to do that to take my breath ya' know?" he said putting his hand over his stomach.

I laughed vividly, "I know." Then, simply smiled like a spoiled 4 year old after getting her way.

I thought briefly of how hard it must have been for him to relinquish some of those acknowledging thoughts, so I decided to chime in with some of my own.

" … You know what I always wished for?"

"What?" he asked curiously.

"… to hear you say _I love you _and believe you by the way you looked at me... not only that but, I also wanted to know that… it's me, for whom you breath.."

"And you do know that, right?"

"… but it's not true…" the topic was a little uneasy on me, "you also live and breathe for Renesmee."

I pricked his peeve "Leah, please…"

I retracted, I didn't want to touch that subject either, "Yeah, yeah I know, you're right, I'm sorry."

He tightened his embrace on me "Let's just think of us and how freaken' amazingly beautiful last night was."

I bit my lip and smirked, "Yeah, it was pretty awesome huh… but, uhm I couldn't help but notice… you seemed… experienced?"

I felt his body tense, obviously another subject he didn't want to run over, but I wasn't letting this one go.

He cleared his throat, "4 times."

I pushed away a little in shock; maybe I should have left that one alone "What? Are you serious, how many girls, Jacob?"

"Three." That's when I pushed away completely and turned to look at him hoping that he would catch a bit of the rage and disgust in my face.

"Who? Wha- did you even, like know them?"

He looked down to the ground ashamed, "Not techn- but Leah, Leah, come on… it was a long time ago, it was one of those runaway nights when I was hurt … and drunk."

" Liquor, yeah nice excuse but a little played out don't ya think. And let me guess... they came onto _you_."

"Woah, hey at least I actually have a minimal count unlike most other guys out there!"

I only found reason to look at him with repugnance, containing myself from striking and killing him.

"Don't look at me like that! You didn't exactly seem like a newbie either, I'm sure Sam had to do with that one."

I scoffed, he did not want to go there, "And you're using that as a bargaining chip? Really? You know what the big difference is? The few times _I_ did it, I thought I was in _love_. Besides, I stopped afterwards. Why? Because I wanted to be married and be sure that I only shared that experience with the person I was absolutely sure I loved-"

He cut me off with an abrupt hug that crushed my body against his, "Ok, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry Lee-Bear. Look, I just wanted to be honest with you! Do you want me to lie? I'll lie for you if that's what you want."

Oh shit, he started making sense, "Leah, we've obviously ventured through long and difficult roads. That doesn't mean the future's gonna be easy but the past is the _past_. Let's just leave it there and live in the now."

He was right, I didn't tell him though because, he knew I already knew that. I only remained silent and tried to practice some of those yoga breathing techniques to remain calm. I was simply going to focus on being happy with Jacob, for the time I still had him. I promised myself I wasn't going to screw this up with negativity or any sort of crap like that.

**Jacob's POV;**

I inhaled her toxic aroma, took a whiff of the smell that lingered on the hair that draped down her shoulders taking into account every element in it.

"Leah, I love you." Powerful words, I mean they ought to work right? I really, truly meant them.

"Good." Her pout disappeared and turned more into a playful smirk, just like I liked it.

"Come on I'm starving and we left a whole lot of food down by the shore. Race you?"

She didn't hesitate at all, "Alright, ready, go!"

"What?"

I could have sworn there was a trail of smoke behind her; I must have missed her when I blinked. She was fast and enthusiastic but, I wasn't about to give up without a match.

I got up but, before I could even attempt to run down the hill my concentration was obstructed by a sharp, searing pain. It was the same irking pain that had been bothering me ever since I got here, except, it was gruesomely intensified. The thorn in my side transformed into a sharp dagger that now punctured through my chest. The pain penetrated to my bones immobilizing me. And I knew why: it was _Renesmee_; the absence of my imprint was shrouding my body and my mind. It was said in the tribe that a wolf would go into a ballistic rage if they were away from their imprint for a prolonged period of time. I've never quite been like anyone else but I did find it strange that it took so long to hit me.

Truthfully, I think it's because I have Leah, her intense love clouds the pain— but I was starting to wonder how much longer it could overcome that natural instinct before I couldn't even breathe anymore. I missed Nessie a whole lot, missed her soft pale little face, her soft hands and fingers, but mostly her company because I knew that with me she was safe .Every night I wondered about her and how she was doing. She must be so big now, so beautiful. It was like part of me was hollow, just that one small part that was allocated specifically for Renesmee. But then again, every night, I looked to my side and always found Leah. And every time I saw her, I fell in love a little bit more.

I knew I couldn't ignore the aching for much longer, but how much more? I couldn't help but wonder what would happen when I would eventually see Renesmee again? What would my feelings be then, or _turn_ to? I would still love Leah the same and a thing wouldn't change, _right_?

I sure as hell hoped so.

But I should know so.

What the f**k is going on, why must things be so goddamn complicated. Why must I always have to lose my right of choice? I needed Leah, and I always want to need her beside me because I love her unlike any other person. Our love is special and unique something I couldn't of even dreamed of every feeling for any another. Especially another besides, Renesmee.

I gasped and took a deep breath, I exhaled and the friction released as the pain lightened. It was still there but it wasn't as prominent or obtruding as a couple moments ago.

**Leah's POV;**

"Oh look, here's the snail that passed you back there."

He smiled vaguely as he walked towards me, "Well I can't be good at everything, love."

He pecked me on the forehead and sat next to me, "I'm going to start a fire so we can get something going."

It was like heaven, there was a variety of foods, herbs, and there was also fish but most importantly MANGOS! I loved mangos, I couldn't help but to just grab the first one I saw and take a bite in it. The sweet flavors ran riotously in my mouth; I was hungry, which made it taste that much better.

Yet, as much as I was enjoying my mango I felt Jacob's eyes on me.

"What?" I looked up at him and finally left my food. I wiped the corners of my mouth with the palm of my hand, but he kept looking,

"Do I have something on my nose?" He laughed and rolled his eyes.

"I was just admiring you." He smiled shyly at me.

I smiled back and looked down hoping not to blush, a feeling I'd almost forgotten. I'd actually forgotten a lot of feelings and a lot of emotions. All of which Jacob helped me remember. Most importantly, Jacob reminded me, not only, how it felt to love but he taught me to feel a degree of devotion unlike anything I'd ever experienced before. I'd never been happier, _ever._ I remember that there was a certain contentment I'd felt when I joined his pack, but I had felt that before. And now, even though I was far from my mom and Seth I was substantially blissful. I remembered how it was to be genuinely loved and I was taught how it was, to be loved with such intensity. It was an amazing feeling that words couldn't possibly even attempt to describe.

I felt the trail of warm kisses on my neck which journeyed onto my check and finally lingered at my lips. I recurred once again into his arms, nuzzled at his neck and finally resided against him. I heard the beats of his rhythmic heart, felt the firey blood run through his veins and the soothing heat of skin against mine. I took his hand and slipped my fingers through the spaces between his own. His hand was course and rough, he had hard working hands, the hands of a man. _My_ man.

All the time here made me realize that I had a right to be content. I so purely believed in my love for Jacob Black that I wasn't going to fight it _any longer_, now nor never. Our love was strong, like us and it could overcome anything. Even imprinting.

My mind was set, I was going to retain this feeling for him, and I was going to _remain_ happy. Sorry Renesmee but I'm fighting for _my_ man. Against imprinting, and even if I have to … against you.

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**If you've read this far… you are sooo AMAZING for sticking with this story! **

**I have an idea for what I'm going to write for the next two chapters, I've already started one and will TRY MY HARDEST to update within about a week or so!**

**Thank you for reading and please REVIEW(: Make my day, make me smile…**

**Just click the little button :D**

**Xoxo,**

**Ana.**


	10. Clash of Worlds

**Thank you, thank you for the reviews. It was the best starter to my day 33 Yes, I smiled.. A LOT :D Hehe. I love you all!**

**& thank you for the suggestions! Don't worry I have had this, and the next couple of chapters planned out for a long time :D

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_All the time here made me realize that I had a right to be content. I so purely believed in my love for Jacob Black that I wasn't going to fight it any longer, now nor never. Our love was strong, like us and it could overcome anything. Even imprinting._

_My mind was set, I was going to retain this feeling for him, and I was going to remain happy. Sorry Renesmee but I'm fighting for my man. Against imprinting, and even if I have to … against you._

**Jacob's POV;**

I pressed her body closer to mine as she rested on my chest in a deep slumber. I stroked her hair as I thought about the last 2 weeks and half since we'd been "married". Every day we'd been best friends and every night we'd been lovers. If there was even any possibility of keeping aspects of our physique or mind obscured from each other, it was completely obliterated. By now, I knew every curve on Leah's body, every crease on her palms, the subtleness of her lips, the texture of her hair, and the feel of her velvet skin, and the fire that reaped beneath her flesh. Her enamoring toxic perfume was unconfounding to me; I could even distinguish her fragrance like the aroma of a rose in a garden full of flowers. I would even dare to say that I knew her better than I knew myself.

It's like there was an enchantment in her smile and in the sound of her laughter. I felt this dangerously alluring attachment to her, this desire and need for her.

I knew it couldn't possibly be healthy to be so attached, devoted and in love with someone.

Though, I never expected to really love someone at all, much less with such potency, other than Renesmee. Then Leah came along, well actually she'd been there the whole time but, then I really noticed her. I noticed her like a woman and I found out so much about her. Eventually, and I don't know when exactly it was, I _realized_ that I had loved her since the moment she'd let me in her soul.

I still missed Renesmee, and it still stung me like a b**ch, a little more each time. But, when I was with Leah, the sharp dagger that inflicted the pain seemed to be dulled. I could feel it, but it didn't bother me so much. It didn't penetrate my bones, take away my breath, or hurt me at all. Which meant that, when I wasn't with Leah, the pain began and got fu*kin' intense.

I remember on one of the first couple nights after the _wedding_ I woke up and Leah wasn't beside me. I started freaking out and getting worried. Not only because the pain was crushing me but because I was, a little _scared._ For lack of a better word I'll go with that. It was bizarre because I remembered that nightmare I had when I saw her in her white gown soaked with blood, where she was anguished, dark, and at the end of it all… _dead._ I couldn't bring myself to be apart from her because, if something did happen to her I would never forgive myself, especially after having been _warned,_ if that's what you want to call it. That was our first dispute, she wasn't there and I got worried, perhaps too worried because, we started screaming at each other. It all ended fine though, I didn't tell her about that dreaded dream, just that I was deeply concerned about her and her well being. She understood.

But, all these differentiating feelings only made everything more confusing because, I was supposed to be in love with Renesmee, right?

Maybe. Leah thinks I'm only stuck on the stage of imprinting that calls for a brotherly love but when I see her a little older that'll change. But, I'd been thinking, trying to piece everything together and figure out the puzzle. I haven't quite figured it out yet because, there are still a lot of stray pieces that don't fit together and some pieces that are lost. I've come to think that since imprinters are only what their imprint needs them to be… maybe Renesmee doesn't need a lover but, rather a brother or a protector. Or, maybe she doesn't need a lover because she hasn't grown up yet. What the hell do I know? I mean, why the hell would we need to imprint anyways? I didn't want a goddamn theory but a legit reason. Why did we get stripped of a choice that was so personal? Shit, all this was perplexing and in all fairness it made me angry as hell.

I convinced myself to just stop thinking about all that before I phased and woke her up. I bent my free hand behind my head as I looked up to the deep, darkening gray clouds that lingered on the sky. There was a storm headed our way and it didn't seem like any light little sprinkle. The wind was picking up too but, that wasn't what caught my attention, it was Leah … she was stirring. She kept her eyes closed but she starting mumbling something.

"…. long have you been awake?"

"Three… maybe three and a half hours." I said lightly, it may have been more but, I was thinking for most of the time.

She opened her eyes wide in disbelief, "Oh, shit that long? Why didn't you wake me?"

"I knew all those nights would wear you out eventually." I smiled intently at her, she didn't say anything she just made a face at me, "but it was mostly because I deeply enjoyed your rhythmic snoring."

She scoffed, she laughed, and then she socked me, "I told you! I do not, snore."

"If you say so … ha ha… damn Lee, you're losing your touch." Her punches usually stung a little more and for a little longer, not like it still didn't hurt but she sure could pack on more power.

"Well, excuse me, I just woke up." She rebutted.

"Yeah, you've been sleeping a lot lately."

"Coming from you? Ha, ha. YOUR snoring tells me you're still even breathing; you know how hard it is to wake you? A train could pass right in front of you and you'd never even tell."

I laughed whole heartedly now; I kissed her forehead taking a whiff of her aroma just like I'd do every chance I could.

"Hey, but no one rocks a bed head like you Lee-Bear."

She smiled at me before she started sniffing about, "Do you smell that? The rain? There's a big storm and it's coming really soon."

"Yeah I noticed it while you were out."

Randomly and off topic she just blurted out, "…Oh man, I'm kind of hungry."

"Waking me up in the middle of the night to go get you bunches of bananas wasn't enough?"

She smiled appreciatively, "Nope."

Then she laughed propping herself atop of me and kissed me with her honey embalmed lips; tenderly and passionately at the same time, only like she could. It wasn't long until our impeccant kissing started turning into something more. Just as Leah had predicted the rain was beginning to arrive. I rolled her under me as we continued kissing and laughing together. I shielded her but, I could feel the heaving rain starting to pound on my back.

Somewhere in between we stopped and just looked into each other's eyes, abstaining ourselves from our surroundings. From the thunder, the rain, the wind, and for that moment there was nothing more than just us, loving each other.

"I finally got my kiss in the rain." She said as she smiled and ran her fingers through my damp hair.

She smiled and then we kissed again, picking up where we had left off until she definitely broke the kiss, She laughed this time, with a facetious tone in her voice "Come on stud, let's get to higher ground."

I pecked her quickly on the lips one more time before I got up to my feet. I extended my hand to help her up, which she surprisingly took. "Where we gonna head to?"

She used her hand to shield the rain from her eyes, "Uh, up there, come on." She pointed to one of the thickest trees on the island; we'd have protection there and if the sea current came up too much it wouldn't reach up there.

We started walking up but I decided to make things a bit more playful, Leah had been acting pretty mellow lately which was out of character. I didn't want to bore her, although she wasn't awake most of the time to be bored. I couldn't really complain because I slept almost as much, but I was glad that there was an eminent amount of trust that was now present.

"Hop on." I prompted with my hands.

"What?" she asked with a vague perplexed expression.

"Get on my back."

She laughed at my inquisition, "Like a …piggyback ride?"

I smiled at her giving her that "DUH!" notion without being overly callous.

She kissed me lightly on the cheek before lithely jumping on and as soon as I felt her relaxed grasp around my neck I took off. The natural obstacles seemed to shun out of my mind by the small smile that crept on my face. I thought about before, something I probably did too much, when I knew that if Leah's hands were coming to neck they were there to try and choke me, a mutual arrangement.

"Wait! Let me get these!"

She made me stop. For more bananas.

When we finally got to the tall, aged tree I set her down on the overgrown roots at the base. I sat next to her and watched the rain as she peeled her banana.

"What's with you and bananas all of a sudden? I thought you liked mangos." I said as I took one of the bananas from the bunch.

"If you're taking some you'd better bring me more…" she said between chews.

I smiled and took a bite right in her face; she pretended not to notice the sarcasm there and continued.

"Well… I had one the other day and it was the freakin' best thing I'd ever tasted on this god forsaken island. It was so sweet, and well I wanted more."

"Yeah, I guess our options aren't so wide… fish and fruits…"

She nodded as she continued to eat, "Let's look at the view on the other side."

We went around the tree in opposite directions and eventually met up, the sight was pretty breathtaking. About half of the island and the sea were visible, plus the added dynamics of heavy rain and the wind that gracefully tossed the waves around like a puppet master would.

We lay on our stomachs and admired the view; it was as cool as the sunset. But, this was more thrilling and exciting yet there was a mellow composure to it.

I turned to my side and gently tucked some of Leah's hair behind her ear revealing the soft contour of her features. I kissed her cheek lightly, moving down to her neck then back up. But before I could get to my destination, she stopped me.

"Jake, I don't really feel … up to _it_ today." It took me a couple of seconds to understand what she meant by _being up to it_ but when I got her, I understood. It didn't bother me that she didn't want to have sex, that wasn't the only thing that made our relationship important, rather our relationship at all.

"Sorry." She said quietly beneath her breath. I took her into an embrace, she fit perfectly beside me.

"There's nothing to be sorry for. It's fine, I'm completely happy with you just being here by my side."

She smiled and cuddled up to me, I felt her warmth instantly… it was awesome.

**Leah's POV;**

There it was. That feeling. That feeling of, _ugh I don't want to wake up but I know I should. _I groggily opened my eyes and sat up slowly. My muscles felt kind of sore, something I hadn't felt in a long time. I tried to remember what I did to produce this feeling but my thoughts were abruptly cut out by an odder that seeped into my yawning mouth.

Talk about a rude awakening, Jacob thought it would be nice to throw a bunch of _raw_ and dead fish right in front of me. "What the hell?"

"Today's meal." He smiled triumphantly like he'd never caught that many fish before. I gave him a _look_ then looked back down at the limp creatures before me.

It happed so fast then, I took a look at a misplaced fish with its blood and its guts all out, then all those bananas came right back up from where they entered.

Jacob was next to me within a second holding my hairs as all of my indulgences were being thrown up. It may have been overeating perhaps, or the sight of disgusting, raw, gruesome animal corpses. Or even maybe the incident in which I, might have, left fish over the fire too long causing them to burn. Burnt fish didn't smell or _taste_ so good. You'd think I'd have a stronger stomach; after all I was able to hold my food down when everyone talked about the always great and lovey-dovey "imprinting".

"Not a smart idea?"

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, "Yeah, not your brightest."

He got up, took his mess, and started walking backwards, "Um, let me go back to shore and don't worry… I'll bring you a cocktail of mangos and bananas?" I liked the interesting proposition.

"Deal. But only bananas."

He smiled, fully turning away and leaving.

I reclined myself fully on the trunk of the tree, concentrating on getting the taste out of my mouth and took a deep breath. The view was even more stunning than last night; it was like a clash of worlds. There was plenty of paradisiacal island but, there was so much of LaPush to it too. There was still a gray blanket of clouds that covered the sky, the seas also looked dark and alluringly mysterious. Yet there was abundant life everywhere; there were birds, reptiles, and multi colored flowers. The rain from the night before still lingered like crystals on the perfectly composed petals of the delicate flora. I had never seen anything so beautiful before, it was freaking amazing.

"Alright there ya go."

Jacob totally snapped me out of the whole scenic tarns. He gave me a coconut shell full of peeled bananas. Score.

"When you're done, we should go down so I can fix the room; there was some pretty bad damage but, nothing irreparable."

I got up as I continued eating, "No, it's cool, let's go right now."

We headed down to the beach, looked like the storm was a little bit tougher than I remembered but, just as I had perceived it from its smell. There were dead, broken palm leaves all over the place. There were even a couple of trees knocked down but, I figured this kind of stuff was natural around here. We weren't much of a disturbance to the cycle of nature.

I mostly watched, and ate, as Jacob entertained me with his manual labor, shirtless of course. But when I was done I helped him out, the weight around here was supposed to be equal. I fought the screaming sensation that begged me to stay put and rest.

It wasn't long until we had everything in tip top shape again. It took a pretty good chunk of the day but at least we could actually sleep in the room this night. The rest of the day went by quick, indisposed to any rigorous activity again; it wasn't long before we were just laying in bed, er the comfy ground, tight next to one another. We talked the night out and fell asleep to mushy, "I love you" and "I love you more's" which turned into serious, "The word love is a let down to how I really feel about you." Words and expressions that ranged from playfulness, to seriously intense moments of profession of adoration. I was absolutely, blissfully content.

Thankfully, that night I didn't dream anything. I had only dreamt twice in the last couple of weeks and it was the same thing. Laughter, screaming, and then crying, no images… just noises. Dubbed noises, with double timbres of me and someone else, Jacob faintly included in the mix. It was inconclusive but, I figured that it was nothing; I was just missing home and all of its phases. The dream hadn't presented itself since 4 days ago.

I felt my noise flinch a little, interrupting the peaceful sleep I was thoroughly enjoying. I opened my eyes a little and peeked at Jacob, his nose was flinching a bit too but not enough to wake him from his _deep_ sleep. He'd done most of the hard and heavy work yesterday so he was completely knocked out.

I opened my eyes fully and took my glance from his robustly serene face following down to my arm, which was spread across his bare chest.

Then, I stopped.

_I_ felt, _eyes_ on _me_. I quickly picked up my glace to the doorway. I was struck; I couldn't believe what I was seeing. _Was I dreaming?_ I made the terrible mistake of blinking because, when I opened my eyes again she was gone.

Okay, what the f**k. Had I really just seen— Renesmee at the door? _No_. It couldn't be Renesmee, no because it looked like she had already grown and reached her full age, but… that wasn't possible because, it wouldn't be a couple more years 'till she was that _old looking_.

Yeah, right, right, psh, brain lapse.

But yet, I couldn't convince myself, I had to see and believe that my mind wasn't being stupid and playing tricks on me.

Ever so quietly I slipped out of Jacob's warm embrace and grabbed two pieces of cloth to cover myself. Hesitantly I stepped towards the entrance, holding my breath. Why was I being such a damn coward?

I lunged myself lightly towards the frame holding onto its sides. Then, I felt Jacob's body behind me, "Why'd ya get up like th—"

His words stopped dead in their tracks as he realized what was going on.

"…. We're… rescued." I whispered.

I didn't acknowledge the other people coming off the two small boats.

My attention was elsewhere, taken by the single person standing at the center of the beach. Everything around me blurred as my eyes were only intently locked … on those of Renesmee Cullen…

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	11. Numb

**AN: I hope you all had wonderful holidays. I apologize for the tardiness; I took an unforeseen trip due to New Years and wasn't able to work on the story.**

**Thank you all for being patient with me and thank you for following the story up to this point.

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**

_Ever so quietly I slipped out of Jacob's warm embrace and grabbed two pieces of cloth to cover myself. Hesitantly I stepped towards the entrance, holding my breath. Why was I being such a damn coward?_

_I lunged myself lightly towards the frame holding onto its sides. Then, I felt Jacob's body behind me, "Why'd ya get up like th—"_

_His words stopped dead in their tracks as he realized what was going on._

_"…. We're… rescued." I whispered._

_I didn't acknowledge the other people coming off the two small boats._

_My attention was elsewhere, taken by the single person standing at the center of the beach. Everything around me blurred as my eyes were only intently locked … on those of Renesmee Cullen…_

**Leah's POV;**

There were so many emotions that shot out of her eyes and penetrated my stare; the mass of millions of thoughts and feelings transmitted into my own head. I was completely entranced and oblivious to everything around me, until I heard a familiar voice, "Leah!". It was with the sharp exaltation of a voice I hadn't heard in a long time that I snapped back into the reality of what was happening.

"Leah!" My eyes finally shifted ever so slightly to the right, towards the approaching shadow in my peripheral vision. By the time my senses started functioning again, I was already in the embrace of my little brother, Seth.

"I thought it'd be pretty fun to be without your nagging for a while, but man I was wrong. I really missed you sis'."

The thing about reunions and goodbyes was that they were always so damn sad, and I had a feeling that today would be one of the strongest manifestations which proved that statement to be true.

"Say something? I have a ton of questions—Leah?" I hadn't realized that I was mute the whole time. I was over thinking everything, not leaving room for my mind to react to the things happening at the second.

"—actually, don't say anything. I have a surprise!" As he spoke the last word he took my hand and tugged me forward a bit. It felt surreal and a bit odd, I felt as if I was there but I wasn't _there._ I felt numb.

But then suddenly, out of nowhere, everything started regaining feeling, everything began to function, and I felt my presence.

"Momma." I whispered and ran to her. I could feel everything again; I felt the moist sand under my feet, the moisture in the air, and the breeze that blew against my hair.

I hugged her tight and found the solace of her arms encasing me once again, the hugs she used to give me and the hugs I yearned for, for so long. Seth even joined the little hug we were sharing, turning it into a family hug. I'd thought about her and Seth every single day, as much as I loved the isolation from the world, I missed the part they contributed to that world. Of course there were others, _others_—still embracing, I made our hug take a 360 degree turn so that I was now in front of what had previously been happening behind my back.

My breath picked up as my brain refused to acknowledge what my eyes knew they saw before me.

**Jacob's POV;**

Her hand slowly came from my shoulder up to the back of my neck, then to my face. She lightly caressed my cheek as I remained still and non-responding to the subtly warm touch that glided on my skin. But, that didn't mean that nothing was going on inside of me. There was undoubtedly a chemical reaction, her touch sent electricity down my body that sparked my senses. Her eyes never moved from mine, our gaze was consistent, until my eyes were forced shut. The rush of flashing memoirs ran across my baffled mind, it was as if everything she'd felt in my absence was compressed into 10 vivid seconds. She showed me so much that I couldn't even make out half of the things she wanted me to. All I felt was her soothing warmth on my flesh, and the notion that she had missed me, a lot. I'd missed her too.

The bright and warm pastel colors then turned into deep red tones, it wasn't long before an array of black colors began to seep into the vision. Everything happened so quickly that I hadn't the slightest idea of how I had gotten to this point, the point where Renesmee was at a breathing distance from my face.

I felt a flush of warmth linger on my lips, a soft and soothing kiss that turned urgent and coarse. It was something different than she'd ever given me—of course she'd never kissed me on the lips before—or anything I could of ever _imagined_ she'd give me. She wasn't the little girl I had left on LaPush all those months ago.

Even after all, it didn't feel _right; _there was that pull I felt towards her but, my heart wasn't there, at least not in _that_ way. I actually wanted to refrain and make her stop. My lips had an owner and my heart had an owner, but _she _owned my reason and my mentality. I couldn't get my brain to send the message to my body to stop her. I was completely at her disposition and under her will.

Then finally, it ended. All I saw were these big gorgeous eyes looking up at me, they were hard to decipher, I couldn't figure her out. The only thing I was certain of was _change_. There was a change in her psychologically and physically. She was so much more grown, she looked like she was about 16, she was now a young women, but very noticeably still Renesmee. She was beautiful. But, of all the things she represented, change has got to be the biggest. There was a change in me, even though the sharp piercing pain was gone, it seemed like a _different _pain began to set in. Everything was coming to fruition and I was coming to the realization of the _change_ she was bringing about at the moment.

I managed to look up, and the first thing that caught my attention was Leah, her … and the disillusion in her eyes. The long eyelashes that framed her eyes fell reluctantly with her gaze. Who knew what she had seen and what she thought. I knew already that whatever she was thinking couldn't be good because, what she saw couldn't have been any better. I only saw her whisper something into the ears of those around her. I tried to catch her attention, but she never looked in my direction again.

Renesmee's arms was still around me, she smiled at me and said, "I was waiting for you, Jake."

I couldn't or rather, didn't know what, to respond. I felt her pull me closer as Leah nonchalantly passed by us. There was an invisible veil that followed her which lifted the weights and alleviated the anesthetized sensation from my body. I slightly smiled at Renesmee and without words released myself from her embrace. I didn't look back, I couldn't. It'd be too painful.

I followed Leah toward the center of the island which lead to the lagoon.

"Leah?", I called out her name without many hopes of hearing a response, but hope enough to actually say her name out loud

"Leah? Lee-Bear, baby." I kept calling out as I trailed behind her, consciously aware that I looked like a puppy dog tagging along behind her. I tried to touch her but she dodged my grasp, ignoring me as she kept on going, grabbing the few belongings she had on the island.

"Leah", she got tired or frustrated of it, I just saw her drop everything and run her hands through her hair. She looked at me for about two seconds, then, she ran.

Her speed picked up as she went further, I was barely keeping up behind her. Through the rush I felt in my bones and the wind that crashed with my body, my subconscious began to fail me. The only thing that mattered to me, the only thing I knew, was Leah.

All the thorns on the vines and the branches from the trees, they felt like feathers against my body. The wounds they created healed even before I even noticed that I had acquired them. I was only intent on the figure before me, on the flow of her hair and the direction in which she headed.

I knew the island well enough by now to know that we were headed for a dead end—er a steep end. A confrontation was inevitable. She had to talk to me whether she wanted to or not.

"Leah!" She halted, not because of my words but because it was the end of the road. Her only other option was to launch herself from the top of the terrain and into the deep water.

"Leah, please hear me out.", I was pleading now.

She was panting, the distress of _this conclusion_ was clearly present on her face, "Leave Jacob, go back to her. Go back to you beloved, go—go where you belong."

"But, Leah I am here—with you." I reached for her once more; she retaliated and only scoffed and stopped her pacing to look directly at me.

"Don't you _dare_ bullshit me, Jacob Black."

"But I'm not Leah!"

She was infuriated to put it nicely. If looks killed then I would have been dead by now, not by a quick easy glance death, but by a slow excruciatingly painful death.

Her yoga breathing technique training was out the damn window right now.

"I thought we had agreed to fight against whatever happened when reality came back into our lives, together."

Something in the words I said wasn't right.

"Well you did a hell of a good job fighting 'imprinting' by kissing that—that girl."

I didn't know how to explain it to her, even when people had tried time over time, there was still an indescribable notion to the whole imprinting thing.

"I'm sorry Leah, I'M SORRY—what else do you want me to say?" I was getting frustrated, not at her, but at me and at the whole darned imprinting thing.

"Nothing. I want you. to. leave. to. her."

"But—but I love _you_."

The words affected her, it was visible, it almost looked like she was gonna bend.

"What about _her_? Huh, Jacob? What about _your_ imprintee?" She walked toward me as she spoke, raising her voice, she stopped a couple of inches away from me, looked me in the eye waiting for an answer I failed to give her. I honestly didn't know what to respond. I wanted them both, I couldn't live without either of them.

Without thoughts or judgment I kissed her. I kissed her with all the passion and heart in my soul. I wasn't going to lose her, I couldn't lose her.

She tried to object, she didn't want to fall into the lure of a kiss she knew would reassure her of her feelings for me. I had a secure grip on her; I wouldn't let her escape a kiss that could make her change her mind. As much as she struggled, she finally caved in and returned the fervor with which our lips met. I felt a tear from her eye fall.

She abruptly ended the kiss and looked down to the floor, rubbing her right temple, "How I could I be so stupid?" she whispered as she took short exasperated breaths.

"Listen Jake, you didn't see those eyes like I did. She saw us, sleeping together. You know what I saw in the midst of all the hate, the confusion, the sadness, the disappointment, and the anger? I saw me. I saw me, when I found Emily and Sam kissing on _my_ birthday. And, then you know what happens next; like when you found out Edward and Bella were going to get married. It hurts like f*cking hell."

She was right. I didn't want her to be right, not this time.

As she fought more tears one escaped as she continued, unable to look me in the eyes this time.

"Me? I've endured pain for a while now, I can keep taking it. Her? Look at the scrawny little thing, she's porcelain— she'll break."

She paused for a second, then resumed, "If I suffer, it'll be for a really long time. But, eventually I'll stop phasing, my life will go on, and I'll die. Renesmee, she's a vampire. If she suffers—it'll be _forever_. And, I may be a b*tch, but I don't have a black heart. I don't wish a heartbreak like that on anyone, not even my worst enemy."

Before I was done processing her words or even had a chance to respond, she took my hand in both of hers and said, "Don't come looking for me in LaPush, I'll be gone soon."

She lightly kissed the top of it and looked up into my eyes as she let my arm fall. My gaze betrayed me as it strayed down to my clutched fist. Hesitantly, I brought it up and then slowly opened it. Inside of it she left, her promise bracelet— and the wedding ring I gave her.

By the time I looked up, she was already out of sight.

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**Sorry once again for the lag. Hope we're back on track. **

**I expect the next update to be near the end of this week. **

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	12. RainDrops

**As always, sorry for the delay. Thanks for sticking with me!**

**Hope you're enjoying the story :D

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**

_She paused for a second, then resumed, "If I suffer, it'll be for a really long time. But, eventually I'll stop phasing, my life will go on, and I'll die. Renesmee, she's a vampire. If she suffers—it'll be __forever__. And, I may be a b*tch, but I don't have a black heart. I don't wish a heartbreak like that on anyone, not even my worst enemy."_

_Before I was done processing her words or even had a chance to respond, she took my hand in both of hers and said, "Don't come looking for me in LaPush, I'll be gone soon."_

_She lightly kissed the top of it and looked up into my eyes as she let my arm fall. My gaze betrayed me as it strayed down to my clutched fist. Hesitantly, I brought it up and then slowly opened it. Inside of it she left, her promise bracelet— and the wedding ring I gave her._

_By the time I looked up, she was already out of sight._

**Leah's POV;**

A tiny drop of rain fell onto the window, an offspring of miniscule droplets derived from that splash. Then, the whole thing dissipated and merged with the other falling drops, ceasing to exist as one by uniting and falling onto the pavement of the road.

Besides the sound of the pouring rain, the ride home was very silent. There were so many things floating around in the air: so many questions, so many answers, and so many doubts.

My mom was the first to break the silence, "You know you can talk to me whenever you want, right?"

My younger brother Seth, who occupied the passenger seat, peered to see my expression through the side view mirror. The dream catcher that hung on the rear view mirror swayed and shackled noisily, at the moment, as we hit small speed bumps. I looked out the window at the blurring trees on the side of the road, how little they had changed. I hoped nothing had changed at home either.

"Yeah, I know, thanks. Mom." The word _mom_ felt a little stingy and foreign on my tongue. It'd been a long time since I called her mother. Even before the accident we had been on rocky terms because she hadn't wanted me to leave for my modeling gig. But, all that hostility and paver was washed away and its traces were overshadowed with what remained now.

"So… when did you, come back?"

My mother cautiously turned her signal light on and looked both ways before making a sharp turn. Seth chimed in before she could've answered, "Not that long after we noticed you—were gone."

"And when exactly was that?"

"About two weeks since you and—you, guys, were last seen." My brother was horrible at trying to cover up his moments of failure.

My mom added, "I heard Seth. His voice was like, a light. A light in the eminent darkness I was consumed in. My children needed me, and I wasn't about to stay there, on that deathbed, absolutely defenseless."

A smile managed to slip onto my face, her words assured me that there was still a fighting spark within my her.

"Since Seth interacted with you, Alice's vision was lost?"

"Yes. Charlie even came back from his honeymoon with Renee."

"Their third that year." Seth said, with vibrant jubilance in his voice.

My mom laughed a bit with him too, "It was very generous of him—"

"Wait, what?" There were a couple of things in that statement that I didn't understand.

"Charlie had been unaware of the whole situation in LaPush, but when you went missing I called him in, as a personal favor. No one else could have handled the situation."

Seth continued, "That's another thing. We only had so many people with the ability to help us look for you guys. The last thing we wanted was any kind of press or media coverage. I mean, no one thought much about the disappearance, it's always expected with our "group of friends" but, we knew when too much time had gone by. We had to make sure no one else noticed that time, though."

"Wow" I whispered low but, high enough for it to be audible. I just couldn't think of anything else to say.

Like on cue, the sound of the engine died, I was really home. I opened the door slowly and let all the aromas flutter onto my face. It felt redundantly comforting to step onto the soil of LaPush again, to smell the aromas I had grown used to and then missed. I felt sentimental just looking at our house again; it was decorated just like I had remembered it.

The best part was walking into the house, it would have been more pleasant had the odor of fish not ruined the moment. I felt my stomach churn, this wasn't good.

"Gosh, who ate … fish?"

Seth shyly raised his hand as I used my own to cover my mouth and nose. The plaid pattern on the sleeve of the flannel I wore was his, it smelled like him, but that wasn't enough to cover up the odor. Before I knew it, I was puking in the small trash can we kept at the corner of the counter.

"You seriously couldn't have thought to eat anything else? I'm sick of fish and its smell, and its taste, and just _it_ in general!"

"Sorry! Man, I really am. I didn't think about it!"

"Yeah, I can see—" , I didn't even remember eating so much that it would produce so much vomit. It wasn't fun to feel your food climbing up your throat and coming out from where it shouldn't. All they could hear were muffled gagging noises and coughs, over all that I heard the opening of windows and powering of fans.

"Leah, your brother didn't mean it." She touched my shoulder as my body was bent over and my face was still submerged in the trash can.

"Are you going to be okay?"

I finally looked up to her, I pushed loose strands of my hair behind my ear and faintly spoke, "Mhm."

"If there's anything I can do, just let me know Lee. I'm sorry again. Are you hungry?" Seth was pleading again, I had always told him that he was too easy to guilt trip, but in this case I guess it wasn't so bad.

"No, I'm fine. I'm just going to go wash up." My mom grinned at me as she stroked her thumb on my shoulder lightly before making her leave. I tried to show another expression besides disgust, but I couldn't.

I was going to follow her through the hall to get to my room when the golden, yellow bananas caught my attention.

"Hey Seth, you think you can have some bananas and um—ice cream waiting for me on my bed when I get out?"

"Sure thing, sis'." He was already diggin' in the fridge for me, that soft bathtub rubber duckie.

I walked into my room; everything was how I had left it. My gray boat neck shirt was still draped on my desk's chair, my half empty water bottle still complimented my computer keyboard and the book stack on my nightstand was still as un-orderly as I had left it. That was just a glance inspection; I continued on into my small bathroom, everything was likewise intact: dirty pile of clothes, toothpaste and hairbrush on the counter, half open mirror door, closed shower curtains, two hanging maroon towels, and a black hair band on the corner of the floor by the door.

I turned the shower knobs and let the water run as I unclothed before stepping in. I closed the mirror door on completely and looked at my reflection. I hadn't seen a clear reflection of myself in months, it was a little weird to see myself again. I wasn't unrecognizable, but I looked like a damn ghost. The pale film that covered my face didn't compliment me as nicely as my tanned skin usually did. I was thinner, my curves were slowly going away, I needed my normal eating habits back. However, I couldn't shake off this strange feeling that wrapped my body inside and out. I saw myself in the mirror, but then again I didn't. There was something different.

I tried to shake off all the weird things I was feeling and thought of how I always loved my showers. They were so relaxing and offered a serene atmosphere where I could think things through. But, this time I didn't want to think, I was tired of thinking and trying to figure things out. I tilted my head back and ran both hands through my hair as the water fell freely onto my scalp and body. I let out a sigh, closed my eyes, and inclined my head forward to face the floor. Then, I pulled my hair to the side so that the water could reach the nape of my neck and then descend onto the rest of my body.

I inhaled the steam produced by the hot water as I concentrated on the sound of the gushing water. I concentrated on the sound so that my mind wouldn't wander off and tap into thoughts I didn't want to revisit. After about a minute and a half I slowly opened my eyes. What I saw, was indescribably confounding.

There was a red drop of water on the tub floor amidst all the other clear rays of water that kept pouring onto the surface. I gulped then, another drop fell, a couple of seconds later three simultaneous drops joined them to form a small puddle underneath me. Dumbfounded, I watched as the water disintegrated them and streaks of red trails formed towards the drain.

I noticed that down the inside of my right leg there was a trail of the red substance that seemed to come directly from _me_. _Could it be?_ Had all this time without phasing affected me so much to the point where I had acquired that "control" to stop phasing? Was my body turning back to normal? But then again, Sam had turned long before I had and he still wasn't able to garner the control to stop phasing. On the other hand, things never happened to me according to pattern— or plan.

I ran my middle finger up the trail that marked my thigh and brought it up close to my face. It looked like what I expected. I pressed it between my middle finger and thumb. It felt like I expected it too. I moved my finger even closer, right under my nose, and then carefully smelled it.

Like I had expected, it was blood.

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**Was going to be longer, but I figured I made you guys wait long enough. Next chapter is already started.**

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